Return To Status Quo скачать в хорошем качестве

Return To Status Quo

The thumbnail of this video is the chair that I found my grandma in when she had her stroke. It was a Sunday morning like any other, I had gone on a bike ride with my Dad and I was heading home. But I decided to stop by my Grandma’s because I hadn’t talked to her in a long time. My Dad warned me that she had been under the weather and was struggling with taking her medication but I didn’t think twice about it. When I arrived, I knocked on her door but she didn’t answer. I knocked a couple more times but still no answer. So I used my key and opened the door. Immediately something felt off. It was 9am in the morning but it was completely dark inside, no natural light. As I moved to the living room I could hear the TV blaring. My grandma always watched the TV loud but never this loud. As I walked into the living room I saw her in her chair. Slightly dazed and out of it. I thought this was bad, but then again my Dad had warned me. I sat down on the ground next to her and talked to her, she gave me verbal cues but no straight eye contact. I found this strange. My grandma always made eye contact. I figured she might need some water or food so I walked into the kitchen and this is when it hit me. All over the ground was spilled soup, it looked like it had been there since yesterday. Now by all means, in my messy personal life, this would be all normal in my house, but for my Grandma, nothing was ever out of place in her house. I immediately called my Dad and we took her to the hospital. The doctors confirmed she had a stroke. Yet with the stroke medication and IV she cae back to life as if nothing had happened. In the hospital, she kept insisting that it wasn’t that bad, that she didn’t even need to come to the hospital but that was my Grandma’s mentality. Everything was always not that bad. In the ICU I brought her a Trader Joe’s chicken salad for lunch and we sat and talked, this would the first time I had spoken to my Grandma that year. I felt great, I felt that I had changed something because what if I had never gone to my Grandma’s house to say hi that Sunday morning? What if she had been sitting in that chair for another 9 hours? A few weeks after this experience my Grandma gave up the will to live. I remember visiting her in her bedroom a week later. She was sitting on the edge of her bed, I sat down next to her, and put my arm around her. She said, “I feel so tired”. I had never heard that sentence with so much expression before. The next week she would pass away. In the same bedroom, in the same place that my grandfather passed away nearly 30 years earlier. This video is called Return to Status Quo because I realized that each time I saw my Grandma, from the stroke in the chair to the hospice bed, that each time I was with her, I felt present. Nothing else mattered. No job aspirations, women, men, material possessions, or earthly desires mattered. But as soon as I left her house, I forget all about her. I was thrown back into my self centered selfish life where I only think about me, myself, and I. She didn’t matter to me the moment I pulled out of her driveway and I hated myself when I realized that. I hated how easy it was, how natural it felt. I made this video to remind myself that even though the beauty in life is that the pain doesn’t last, it doesn’t mean I have to forget. From the painting on my wall to the recycle bin in my garage to this small video, there is a beauty in remembering. And that is something I never want to forget.