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Between chopping off legs, slicing through watermelons and decapitating your enemies, swords are pretty awesome. It's no secret that some of my favorite video game characters also love swords, and more than a few Akira Kuwasawa movies would be ruined without this deadly invention. Yet, somehow Victory Road does the impossible and makes swords boring and impractical. For those who missed out on the arcade scene, Victory Road is the 1986 sequel to Ikari Warriors. Paul and Vince are back and ready to take on a terrorist who sends them ... thousands of years into the future? Huh. Anyway. Just like the original Ikari Warriors, players use the rotatable joystick to aim and shoot at futuristic bad guys. This works great when you're packing a large gun, but everything breaks down the moment you pick up the dreaded sword. Suddenly our hero is limited to killing only enemies directly in front of him and unable to turn around fast enough to kill the attacking hordes. You know how The Bride was able to take down all of the Crazy 88s in one well-choreographed dance number? Well that's not how it works in Victory Road, because in the future swords are useless.