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A Horse Named Stupid

This is inspired by a true story of when I was younger and I was riding a Burro down into the Grand Canyon. This animal had my heart stopping every 10 seconds by walking right up to the edge of the cliff and lowering his head making me feel like I was going to go sliding down his neck and over the edge. I was white knuckling that saddle horn! When I would finally force him back onto the trail all he would do is just rub my leg off on the canyon wall to my left. Not much better but no one died losing a little bit of their lef skin. I was experienced in horseback riding but this animal was experienced in terrifying customers. I know the guide gave it to me on purpose. haha Lyrics: Bought him cheap from a man named Lou, Said, “He’s slow but honest — same as you,” His shadow passes quicker than he will, I’ve seen the sunset stop just to wait uphill. I say “Giddy up,” he blinks real hard, Like he’s readin’ signs from the wrong cue card, When the herd breaks loose and the dust goes flyin’, He’s still askin’, “Fellas… what are we tryin’?” Oh he ain’t exactly built for speed, He treats every thought like it’s hard to read, Trying to eat hay is really a strain On whatever is left of this poor horse’s brain. Now I ain’t one to borrow trouble, And I try real hard not to think the worst… But some horses got a gift For findin’ the exact spot You’d rather they didn’t. I try not to be much of a pessimist, But on a narrow trail I can’t ignore this: There’s a sharp drop down to the canyon floor, And he walks the edge like he wants to explore. Head hung low, lookin’ over the ledge, I pull him back and I catch my breath, Then he slides me close to the canyon wall, Scrapin’ my leg like he means to stall. I shout, “Stay center — not left, not right!” He says nothin’, keeps testin’ my life, Like balance is some kind of mystery, Or a rumor he’s heard but won’t agree. Yeah he’s late to run and he’s quick to stall, Takes a rest halfway through a walk, Trying to eat hay is really a strain On whatever is left of this poor horse’s brain. He don’t spook much, he don’t scare fast, Mostly ‘cause danger’s already passed, By the time he figures somethin’s wrong, It’s yesterday’s trouble singin’ tomorrow’s song. So here’s to horses that think too long, ‘Bout right and left and where they belong, Trying to eat hay is really a strain On whatever is left of this poor horse’s brain. So if you see us crawlin’ down the plain, Don’t laugh too loud — we’re takin’ our time, Me and that horse, no rush, no race, Just tryin’ to stay centered in a wide open place.