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Why is forgiveness so hard?

Lyrics by Walthari Nikolaj 2026 I could stand calm before thee in the light, As though no shadow ever crossed between us; No hatred kindled in these patient eyes, No sharpened word to wound thee in return— Yet look not there for easy, smiling grace, For mercy dwells not lightly in this breast. Thou think’st forgiveness is a gentle rain, That falls alike on garden, field, and stone; A word to speak, a token to bestow, A holy coin flung careless to the crowd. But pardon is no trifle for the tongue, Nor blessing scattered like the idle wind. Each dawn must shape it on a burning wheel, Each hour must breathe it back into the heart; For left alone, it withers into form— A husk of sound, a virtue without soul. Forgiveness lives by labour, not by speech, And dies the moment memory is denied. Metanoia—so the ancients named it: A turning of the mind, a change of course. Not soft forgetting, coward’s counterfeit, But truth remembered, wrestled into peace. No man forgives who hath not dared to see The wound entire, and feel its weight again. So when thou grow’st devout and preach’st of grace, And cast’st forgiveness like bright confetti To glitter in the air and please the crowd, Take heed thy hand be gentle in its zeal. For in that careless shower of holy words Thou might’st dislodge the fragile work in me. Mine is no saintly robe I wear with ease, Nor fiendish cloak of vengeance and of fire. I walk between—where shadow kisses light— A bearer of a small, uncertain flame. And every morning asks the same of me: Wilt thou release, or cling unto the night? Thus do I stand, with memory awake, Yet hatred buried deep beneath the ash. And if thou search’st for pardon in mine eyes, Know this: it is not given once for all. For every dawn I turn my soul anew— And still remember all that once was done. A folk soliloquy about the real work of forgiveness. This piece reflects on metanoia—the idea that forgiveness is not a single word or gesture, but a daily turning of the heart. It is about remembering without hatred, choosing mercy without denying the past, and walking the narrow path between anger and grace.