Jonicus Slobicus: THE COMPLETE SERIES скачать в хорошем качестве

Jonicus Slobicus: THE COMPLETE SERIES

BIG SCRIPT In this very city of Bloomington Normal exists one of the most extraordinary carnivorous mammals known to the world. Although sometimes referred to as Jon Slob, the creature is more often referred to using his true latin name, Jonicus Slobicus. The species resides in central Illinois and other areas that can grow the beasts main sustenance, corn. This individual Slob has moved out of his mother’s house to expand his horizons… now opting to spend all his time creating shelter on a specific couch, in this specific apartment, fondly named “24”. Here we see Jonicus Slobicus consuming his daily nutrients. Although this meal is not corn, the Slob’s primary sustenance, he knows he needs to eat something in order to fuel himself, should there be an encounter in the wild where an acute stress response is required and energy is needed. This Slob is growing to be very big and strong. Here we see a member of the pack, a Solis, partaking in a commensal relationship with Slobicus. Slobicus hunts for food and other survival materials, and the Solis is allowed to partake in small amounts. Due to the sheer vertical mass of Jonicus Slobicus, he protects the Solis from predators who think him to be a nice meal. We can observe, here, the Solis is particularly enthused to be in the presence of alpha male Jonicus Slobicus. Here we are able to see the true power of a Slob, a rare occurrence, the Slob is seemingly calm until…pkew! Touchdown. The Slob is built with a powerful quadricep femoris to help him in the case of a fight or flight situation. As I was approaching the Jonicus Slobicus and the herd, I triggered the creature’s acute stress response causing him to flee! RUNNING I chased after…….. But to no avail. “Where could he be? The pack is lost without their alpha male to guide them through the unthinkable dangers of central Illinois. How will they ever be able to survive? Oh! BUT WAIT! After what seems like a lifetime to the pack, Jonicus Slobicus has found his way back using his superior sense of smell and a certain type of echolocation called “ree”ing. “REE REE REE” ….. It is… very, effective. Thank you Jon Slob.