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The Parent Factor

Mum and dad have a colossal influence on who and what we become. Even among top performers in commerce and industry, where people specialise later than they do in sport, incontestable evidence has been found of the major role played by the immediate environment in the development of their skills. If you removed the ambitious parents from the Gold Mines in Korea and Russia I am convinced that the production of golf and tennis players would instantly come to a halt. More than anything else, it is the dedicated parents who, willing as they are to sacrifice everything for the success of their offspring, have created these Gold Mines. Many of those parents balance on a knife edge between madness and genius. Their adherents believe they are doing their children a huge service. Critics maintain that they are living out their own pent-up ambitions through their children, who are never allowed to develop their own independence. This chapter challenges conventional parenting wisdom: Perhaps the parents we refer to as pacing parents are in reality simply those who get most involved with their children. And perhaps the worst parents of those who remain passive in order to avoid responsibility.