Dating Ms McDickens - 50 plus Dating Club скачать в хорошем качестве

Dating Ms McDickens - 50 plus Dating Club

This track is a sardonic, tongue‑in‑cheek British indie funk piece that skewers the icy indifference and emotional vacancy of modern dating, personified in the fictional “Miss. McDickens.” It’s a biting social satire that turns small‑talk awkwardness, deadpan replies, and robotic detachment into comic poetry — riffing on how dating apps often match people with no warmth, spark, or real connection. The setting in the Fens amplifies the chill: not just weather but emotional climate. Through witty wordplay and bleakly funny metaphors — “as cold as a cucumber sandwich,” “colder than frozen peas,” “even my freezer asked if it needed to warm up” — the song critiques emotional unavailability and digital‑age apathy. It’s equal parts observational comedy and social commentary, capturing the disenchanted tone of post‑romantic Britain where dating feels more algorithm than affection. The humour sparkles with British understatement, indie edge, and self‑mockery, sounding like a stand‑up routine embedded in rhyme — icy but brilliant. Let me introduce you to Miss. McDickens, Their online dating profiles say, 'They want a spark.' But the Miss. McDickens are colder than my freezer drawer… at least the peas are more interactive, when I take them out We met them online, a humourless cod so dearly We said, “That’s fun.” They said, “Not really.” Talked about their job — “Oh, spreadsheets mostly.” We’ve see warmer, longer chats at a post office queue. With cold air con flows, it or us or is it the royal frosty them? We asked them what they were looking for? They said, 'Chemistry,’ smirked and drank some wine. And Judging by their replies, They meant in a laboratory fridge… frozen solid. They're as cold as a cucumber sandwich, And sharp as a butter knife. Clouded eyes like Wi-Fi’s gone, No recent signal in their life. We're on a date with Miss. McDickens They’re so cold and distant up in the Fens We're on a date with Miss. McDickens Even my freezer asked if it needed to warm up around them. We said, “What films do you like?” They said, “None, really.” “Music then?” “Silence, preferably.” Their hobbies? “Scrolling.” Ambition? “TBD.” We thought — at least serial killers have a personality. “We’ve met chatbots with more small talk. And mate we're talking Mr Mc Micro-soft Clippy.” Messaging them is like trying to start a fire with blunt wet wood It’s both pointless and exhausting, And They’re so emotionally unavailable, Even the MI5 couldn’t get intel from them They’re always so distant We can think we accidentally matched with the North Pole. Their idea of sharing feelings Is sending a meme and saying its their therapy, `For us, it's a never always, and never a never maybe. They're as cold as a cucumber sandwich, And sharp as a butter knife. Clouded eyes like Wi-Fi’s gone, Was there a signal ever in their life. We're on a date with Miss. McDickens They’re so cold and distant up in the Fens We're on a date with Miss. McDickens Even my freezer asked if it needed to warm up around them. You ever had one of those chats, Where you’d rather interview your kettle? But at least it boils over eventually. “Cold as a cucumber sandwich!” “Colder than a bag of frozen peas!” “Cold as an iceberg lettuce sandwich!” “Mate… I’ve laughed at funerals more than she laughed with me.” [End] #BritishRap #DatingSatire #ColdDates #UKComedy #OnlineDating #MissMcDickens #BritishHumour #RapStorytelling #IndieRap #ModernLove #SocialCommentary #UKMusic