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This is #16 of a series in which I read correspondence between me and people who have questions, comments, or--more often--misconceptions about asexuality. This one is a how-to guide for asexual people who want to come out, with perspectives that may make it easier and alternate approaches for those who are not ready to come out yet or cannot because of their environment. Here are the resources I promised. Definitions of asexuality and discussion (decide which one is best for you and understand why, whether it's the most popular "does not experience sexual attraction" model or one of these other ones): http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.... Some different orientations defined, including romantic orientations: http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.... Asexual Awareness Week's pamphlets to print out and use: http://asexualawarenessweek.com/downl... Huge list of interviews and articles: http://swankivy.com/writing/essays/ph... Long list of asexual appearances in mainstream media: http://swankivy.com/writing/essays/ph... The (A)sexual documentary on Netflix: http://movies.netflix.com/WiMovie/702... The forum for allies of asexual people to discuss asexual friends/family: http://www.asexuality.org/en/forum/30... Romantic orientation buttons: http://www.cafepress.com/miscellaniia... "Confused" shirt: http://www.zazzle.ca/when_you_say_im_... How To Be an Asexual Ally articles by me: http://goodvibesblog.com/how-to-be-an... My "Overview" video: • Asexuality: An Overview Asexual Bingo video: • Asexual Bingo Asexual Bingo Card (common responses that you might want to prepare to hear and figure out answers to): http://swankivy.com/LJ/bingo.jpg The DSM-5 psychological manual's identification of asexuality as NOT a sexual disorder: http://nextstepcake.tumblr.com/post/6... A textbook on asexuality: http://www.amazon.com/Understanding-A... The study that identifies asexual people as 1% of the population: "Asexuality: Prevalence and associated factors in a national probability sample." Anthony Bogaert, Journal of Sex Research, 2004. http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10... A dissertation about asexuality: "Asexual Scripts: A Grounded Theory Inquiry Into the Intrapsychic Scripts Asexuals Use to Negotiate Romantic Relationships." Carol Haefner, dissertation for a Doctorate of Philosophy at the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology, April 2011. http://gradworks.umi.com/3457969.pdf Scholarly research on asexuality: "Furthering Our Understanding of Asexuality: An Investigation into Biological Markers of Asexuality, and the Development of the Asexuality Identification Scale." Morag Allison Yule, The University of British Columbia, August 2011. https://circle.ubc.ca/bitstream/id/13... "Asexuality: a mixed-methods approach." Lori Brotto, Gail Knudson, Jess Inskip; Katherine Rhodes; Yvonne Erskine, Archives of Sexual Behavior, June 2010. http://prod.obgyn.ubc.ca/SexualHealth... "Patterns of Asexuality in the United States." Dudley L. Poston, Jr. & Amanda K. Baumle, Demographic Research, 2010. http://www.demographic-research.org/v... Page dedicated to collecting asexuality-related studies: http://asexualitystudies.org/ Academic discussion of asexuality on this site: http://www.asexualexplorations.net/