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For a long time, I thought my problem was drugs. What I eventually realized was that drugs weren’t the core issue. Intensity was. Winning. Chaos. Performance. High-pressure environments. Anything that made me feel amplified. In this video, I talk about what it looks like when your identity depends on intensity — and what happens when you start building something steadier. If you only feel okay when you're achieving something… If calm makes you restless… If you don’t know who you are without performance… This might resonate. I’m not teaching. I’m building in public. — 📝 I write more reflections like this on Substack: https://substack.com/@joshualeedowns 📚 My books (fiction + nonfiction): The Quiet Work, The Quiet Practice of Enough, The Day the Small Things Grew Tall, and Blimble Brum Glim and the Day the World Lost It's Hum, by Joshua Lee Downs.