The Covert Narcissist is Nothing and No One: Deconstructing the Narc's False Narrative скачать в хорошем качестве

The Covert Narcissist is Nothing and No One: Deconstructing the Narc's False Narrative

The Covert Narcissist is Nothing and No One: Deconstructing the Narc's False Narrative Before we even begin, let's be clear about who this message is intended for. This message is solely for a survivor of covert narcissist abuse that is still having problems eliminating that creep from their minds. No, this message isn't an attempt at insulting a covert narcopath or somehow getting them to see the error of their ways, “see the light”. That would be a waste of precious time and resources. An informed person doesn't waste their efforts on trying to talk sense to an unteachable disrespectful narcopath who thinks things are just fine the way they are. The point of the video is to clarify the actual significance of that covert narcissist in the target's mind. Yes that covert narcissist had a major impact on our lives simply because they were an abuser and a perpetrator. After enough time and study the enlightened target understands all of those things. But many a target still has a “sweet spot” for the narc and still holds out hope that this was all just a bad misunderstanding and that eventually this nightmare will end. Yes that narc will return and be truthful and prove that they actually loved you and cared. OK then, they weren't a covert narcissist. You were mistaken. Time tells us the reality of what that narc's true intentions were. So after a good amount of time giving that ex a chance to prove themselves, to be and actual human being, and no evidence of it whatsoever, it becomes time to eliminate that covert narc fully from our thoughts, to neutralize their influence on our daily lives. Yes the anger, bitterness, and resentment need to be gone and that process is a long and difficult one in and of itself. But that target also has to clearly put that narcopath in perspective and see them for their true insignificance. With or without knowing it the target sees that narcopath as important, having stature, having “gravitas”. One reason for this is that the target conflates the negative impact of the abuse with the so called good times, then makes the mistake of seeing that covert narcissist as having also had a certain degree of positive impact along with the incredible negativity. Yes the push-pull, the trauma bond effectively ties us to the narcopath and in a sense gets us addicted to their approval. So those crumbs that narc threw us appeared to us as precious jewels during the relationship and the target continues to view those platitudes with fondness after the narc has departed. No, they were simply crumbs, nothing more. It was all by the narc's design to make those crumbs appear as jewels, but we are now thinking clearly and rationally again and we see things for what they actually were. So the narc gives us an image of them being irreplaceable. That is pure nonsense. In fact that covert narcissist is easily replaceable and when you look at these creeps apart from their great ability to destroy people's lives and lie like there is no tomorrow, you see a very small human being devoid of any real substance. It is only our love for them that binds us and makes them important and part of that love means we don't see these creeps for what they really are. The target needs to correct this faulty thinking if they are ever to fully heal. Yes the narc can be charming and impress people with those incredible lies that they tell so easily, to say nothing of the phony flattery. But the narc will have a hard time pointing to any verifiable positive accomplishments that weren't simply public gestures. Yes when working with public charities there actually have to be some genuine acts of contribution, but the narc will give that charity and make sure they capitalize on every ounce of it. The billboard or public persona of a narcopath is their most cherished possession. It matters more to them than their own partners. In addition there is no doubt that the narc also has personality, but they are devoid of the more important quality of character. So onto trying to find a solution to the target's problem and furthering that goal of neutralizing all influence of a narcopath on their lives. It might appear to an outsider that using pejoratives to describe a former partner and labeling them a covert narcissist is simply a jilted lover disparaging what they can no longer have. Sour grapes so to speak. But let's be clear, there is genuine disappointment, incredible shock and even horror when a person first discovers they have been lied to in every way imaginable 24 7 by a person who pretended to be there for them, pretended to care, pretended to love. For years or even decades. There is no easy way to reconcile your previous vision of reality while with a covert narcissist and the actual situation, the actual dynamic that was occurring which we now clearly...