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If you’re not familiar with attachment theory, it goes as follows: we develop a relatively predictable style of attaching to others based on how our parents nurtured and cared for us. These styles tend to be relatively fixed after they are cemented in childhood, and tend to manifest in three clear categories: secure, anxious or avoidant. Are All Gay Men Insecurely Attached? It’s easy to speculate that most gay men may suffer from some degree of insecure attachment. Why? Well, we didn’t have the security growing up to form a secure attachment style. We were inevitably taught that part of us was unacceptable and therefore should be repressed, hidden or denied altogether. Why Anxiety Sabotages You: Sadly, anxious attachment ends up being very self-defeating. The anxious impulse to cling to attachments actually ends up sabotaging them. It’s perfectly fine to have needs. But clinginess is quite off-putting. It doesn’t draw people in. But more importantly, when you lead with your anxiety, you’re typically not presenting the most authentic version of yourself. Can you change your Attachment Style? The million dollar question for years has been: can we change our attachment styles? I would say yes. But, it’s a matter of degree. For example: if you have a historically anxious attachment style, you can come more secure. But, you may always have some remnants of anxiety in relationships. How to get More Secure: Two ways. First, by picking healthy partners. But more importantly, you need to focus on you. How? Stop abandoning yourself. Attachment focuses primarily on how others will accept and nurture us. But what about how we nurture and care for ourselves? The truth is most anxiously attached folks are in a process of rejecting themselves. Start by focusing on how to take care of your needs, rather than trying to outsource them onto your partner. ☎️ Book a free consultation call with me: michaelpezzullo.com/contact 💻 Read more about this topic on my blog: https://www.michaelpezzullo.com/post/... More therapist videos 👇 1. ⏩ • Are “Daddy Issues” Real? | A Gay Men’s The... 2. ⏩ • Gay Therapist’s Guide to Grindr 3. ⏩ • Gay & Codependent? 4. ⏩ • Navigating the Political Divide: A Therapi... Follow me on social media👇 https://www.michaelpezzullo.com/ / michaelpezzullo / michaelpezzullolmft / michaelpezzullolmft / michaelpezzullolmft #lgbtqmentalhealth #lgbtqsupport #mentalhealthmatters #gay #gayman #lgbt #lgbtqsupport #chosenfamily #gayisolation #authenticliving #gaycommunity #lgbtqmentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #therapyforgaymen #healingtogether #breakthesilence #queersupport #lgbtqtherapist #realconnection #liveauthentically #gayhealing #queerwellness #attachmenttrauma #gaymarriage #gaydatingapp