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the pain of being seen

My whole life was lived in fear of the second death; when no one says your name ever again. Only now do I understand the pain of being seen, the addiction of attention, and how it changed me for the worse. Do I Pass? is a free game by Taylor McCue (creator of HFTGOOM), which offers the player a tempting chance; to leave their own body, become an invisible ghost, and see what others are truly thinking about them, to truly understand the pain of being seen. A seemingly simple game with three endings, reaching each one is more complicated than it seems, requiring a rethinking of what “good” and “bad” attention are; how compliments can become insults, how support can become hate. McCue’s Do I Pass? is a truly interesting and important game about being perceived. Wonder Egg Priority was one of the most interesting anime of recent years, a great idea spoiled by a terrible ending. However, a standout still is its representation, featuring an essentially trans character in Momoe. She wants to be perceived as a girl, however she often dresses in boys clothing, seemingly hurting her chances at identity; however, this is what she must do to survive. The only way she receives “positive” attention, a requirement to survive the dangerous situations she’s thrown into, is if she embraces the flaws of her girlhood where she’s invincible, and makes them the benefits of a boyhood instead. Leaning into gender dysphoria to be what people will treat her as anyway, she can at least benefit from the praise instead of fighting against hate. Wonder Egg Priority’s Momoe is surprisingly great trans representation. Stag Dance is a novel from author Torry Peters, a voice of the trans community since Detransition, Baby’s success. Taking place in cold, isolated wilderness, a group of loggers hold a stag dance, an event where men can choose to be perceived as women. The story speaks largely to the abstract, control, almost abusing nature of labels and identity, but also to attention and how it intertwined with survival. The character Lisen is small and feminine, making their transition easier than Babe, the narrator’s, however it makes her incapable of being a logger. This means that she only survives so long as she receives the often aggressive attention of these men; her life becomes being seen by others and attention becomes an addiction; this leads her down a lonely, terrible path. Together, Do I Pass, Wonder Egg Priority (Momoe) and Stag Dance (Lisen) helped me understand my own relationship with attention and the pain of being seen. I think they made me a better person. 0:00 Introduction 0:30 Part 1 12:25 Part 2 32:13 Part 3 48:30 Part 4 1:08:50 Outro #wondereggpriority #videoessay #professorviral #doipass #stagdance