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A list of all commercials that focus on people who should get rid of cable and upgrade to DirecTV. Honestly, I don't own these commercials. 0:00 - INTRODUCTION 0:30 - 1. Don't attend your own funeral as a guy named Phil Shifley ⚱️🪦 1:01 - 2. Don't drive into a pizzeria that makes great baked ziti 🍕 1:31 - 3. Don't fall into a dinner party 🍽️ 2:04 - 4. Don't have a grandson with a dog collar 👶 2:36 - 5. Don't have your house explode 🏠💥 3:06 - 6. Don't reenact scenes from "Platoon" with Charlie Sheen 3:37 - 7. Don't sell your hair to a wig shop 🏪 4:08 - 8. Don't wake up in a roadside ditch 4:40 - 9. Stop taking in stray animals 🐈🐕🦜🦎 5:12 - 10. Don't become a local fisherman they call "Big Fatty Face" 🐟🎣 5:43 - 11. Don't chase imaginary butterflies into something highly illegal 🦋 6:13 - 12. Don't get body-slammed by a lowland gorilla🦍 7:05 - 13. Don't have your Dad get punched over a can of soup 🍲 7:45 - BONUS: Twitter Story