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For a long time, I tried to be “the good trans girl” — polite, calm, patient, and endlessly willing to explain myself. This video is about why I stopped. This isn’t just personal experience. Research in psychology and sociology shows that politeness does not reliably reduce prejudice, that marginalized people are punished both for anger and for calmness, and that suppressing your emotions to make others comfortable comes with real psychological costs. Being “palatable” doesn’t protect trans people. It exhausts us. In this video, I talk about: – respectability politics – why calm explanations rarely change entrenched bias – why trans anger is punished and politeness is ignored – minority stress and mental health – and why I no longer perform goodness to earn basic respect This is for anyone who’s tired of shrinking themselves to survive. Sources mentioned / further reading: Meyer, I. H. (2003). Prejudice, social stress, and mental health in lesbian, gay, and bisexual populations. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.129... Hendricks, M. L., & Testa, R. J. (2012). Minority stress in transgender and gender nonconforming people. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0029597 Testa, R. J., et al. (2015). Gender minority stress and health. https://doi.org/10.1080/00918369.2014... Gross, J. J., & John, O. P. (2003). Emotion regulation and well-being. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.85.... Larson, D. G., & Chastain, R. L. (1990). Self-concealment and psychological distress. https://doi.org/10.1521/jscp.1990.9.4... Pettigrew, T. F., & Tropp, L. R. (2006). Intergroup contact and prejudice. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.90.... Dixon, J., et al. (2010). Why “getting along” doesn’t equal justice. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1540-4560.2... Czopp, A. M., et al. (2006). Confronting bias reduces prejudice. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.90.... Instagram: stillonplanetjupiter Instagram: faithlievens