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This week we are talking about depersonalization, derealization, otherwise known as dissociation. We will also discuss DID or dissociative identity disorder, how we can build our sense of self, if we can love therapy too much, and why we can feel awkward after disclosing our self injury. Finally, we will talk about whether or not we can be so damaged that no amount of therapy can help us. Ask Kati Anything ep.239 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Audience questions: 1. Hi Kati, I struggle with persistent depersonalisation and derealisation. I tried a lot of things over the years (therapy, different mindfulness practices, temperature play, full body shakes, yoga, meditation, being aware of my body etc.) and nothing is working. I know it gets worse when I am overwhelmed or tired or hungry, but it’s nearly happening 24/7 even if I am happy and relaxed and on holidays for example. It doesn’t make sense to me. Sometimes it gets really bad, I think when I also start panicking. Then I feel like I can’t see properly and feel so far gone, that it feels super scary. I know dissociation is not scary and it’s my body’s way to protect me, but when it is so severe, it feels absolutely horrible. Do you have any tips for me? It started 3 years ago when I struggled badly with anorexia and my mental health really declined and I was suicidal and felt really helpless and alone. Is it possible to be traumatized from this experience or is it possible that I have developed CPTSD from this and dissociate so severely now? I feel like I am in a constant stress response and I always feel so uneasy. Do you have any advice for me? Thank you so much!! I love your videos!! Thank you for helping us 01:14 2. I am a survivor of CSA and have CPTSD. I don’t think I have DID however, why do I have different “voices” that come out at different times in ways I cannot control? My friends say I have 2 different “voices” one is higher pitched and small, and the other is deeper and more grown-up. Some things can for sure trigger it like feeling afraid or ashamed but it doesn’t always trigger it. Sometimes I am just that particular voice for that day or hour. It sounds pretty much the same to me and I cannot change it at will. What is this about??? Is this just normal for most people and can I fix it? 17:26 3. How to build a sense of self when no sense (or only a weak sense) of self has ever existed. In this scenario there is no "rebuilding" of the self, because it never existed as a whole in the past. There's nothing to be rebuilt because it hasn't been built yet. Is there any relevant research that looks at outcomes for individuals who developed a sense of self for the very first time in adulthood, or well into adulthood? I know that a lot of people were traumatized from birth onward in ways that seemingly impaired the brain's ability to form a cohesive sense of self. But I only ever really see advice on rebuilding or rediscovering one's self. A self that existed in the past... 21:57 4. I love therapy. I know it’s supposed to be difficult and a lot of people are “scared” to work on themselves in therapy but I absolutely love it. My therapist told me I am very analytical and symptom focused, I constantly analyze every small behavior about myself and I can’t seem to stop. I constantly need to make sense of everything. I also love the attention that she gives me and I love that she cares about me. I wish I could see her all day every day. Is it normal to love therapy this much? 25:41 5. I just recently told a friend about my self-harming and now I feel really awkward. I wanted to know, why do I feel so embarrassed when near this friend now? 30:59 6. I hope this makes sense to you. It is something I've been wondering about. Is it possible to be so severely damaged by your past that no matter how much therapy you got that you never really heal? Because after all the therapy I got I still have so many trigger points. Is it because I've been traumatized over and over? Is it because of all sorts of abuse over and over? Am I not supposed to get over it by now? 33:30 #podcast #psychology #katimorton **** MAIN YOUTUBE CHANNEL @Katimorton #podcast #psychology #katimorton PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY Join my channel & access more perks: / @katimorton ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL X / katimorton TikTok / katimortoninstagram / katimorton Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morto... Facebook / katimorton1 Pinterest / katimorton1 PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney [email protected]