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Statistically Speaking

A song about China and statistics EDIT; ok here are the lyrics; [update and the chords] I think this is what I said or at least what I meant to say [people asking for the chords I think these are them though I'm in bed now (and, yes it's midday WHAT OF IT) and I can't be arsed to find the piano so they may be wrong. Also I don't read music so I don't really know what notes I'm playing much of the time] [how many caveats was that in two paras?] PREAMBLE F. Bb. Dm C Population density around the world; it varies (it varies)* F. Am. Bb Csus. C and that makes it very tricky** to find a lover you will cherish (you will cherish)* Am. Bb I spoke to a statistician on the matter Am he said "james I'm actually in a meeting can you Bb come back in an hour" Am [chords getting repetitivehere] Bb [I'm bored even writing them down] C[sus maybe?] So I did and he told me what I'm going to say to you [Actual] C (he's going to say to you)* INTRODUCTION TO THE THEME [ok so for this bit it's basically one F chord with the bass changing so play the bass F and then A and then Bb and then C. Actually it's more like F .... F/A ..... Bb .........C ........F ...... C F F/A Bb C. F Statistically speaking my one true love lives in China C (how will I find her?) F F/A Bb C. F Statistically speaking my one true love speaks chinese C (and drinks many teas)*** Am. Bb. Am. Bb And I can't speak Chinese, nor Mandarin nor Cantonese Am. Bb and to be honest those don't sound like languages Csus. C they sound like restaurants*** INTERSTITIAL DISCLAIMER Bb F In fact the difference in cultures would mean that I would Bb Bb/A. [I can't remember this one but it could be C] need to learn a whole lot more about China [tricky one. It's like Bdiminished something. Basically something bad has happened to B] than a series of cultural stereotypes albeit told in a Gm quas-ironic C way **** FUN ENDY BIT [arpeggios in bass. chord right hand. I was in battersea arts centre (this sounds like I'm telling the story of how I wrote Hey Jude but is a nice memory) and my friend Nehemiah (new york, brilliant musician) strolls into the room. Had no idea he was in London but he came in because he "recognised" the "playing style." What he meant was it was diabolical but nvm.] F. F/E What's the point in going out on weekends? Gm. C7 [chords same until further notice bc lazy and running out of characters allowed in description] You may as well stay in and lie in bed 'cos there are 7 billion people in the world and only 17 of them are in the Old King's Head. I think governments around the world should spend Their GNP on a big speed-dating event I don't believe in destiny It's just a way of coping with entropy. But you say "James, I met my girlfriend in a lido it really does happen you just have to wait and see I say "yes but you were working in the lido you added her on Facebook; I think that's creepy." HAPPY TURNAROUND BIT And I'm saying all these things in the Old King's Head I've had three Staropramens and I wish I was in bed but is that a group of girls coming in that I see I recognise one and she looks at me She's got bright red hair and Spanish eyes ***** Electronic cigarette and a Foster's Ice ****** I want to talk to her but I've got the fear then suddenly I see her coming over here. She says "James I like your songs and I think you're kind of funny It doesn't bother me that you've got no money the world's a crazy place but it gets better Come with me and we'll be terrified together. SPIRIT BOOSTING CHORUS F Am Just be patient and you will find her Bb. C7 you don't need to go to China Just be patient and you will find her you don't need to go to China Just be patient and you will find her you don't need to go to China textbook repetition here ** I had to put the emphasis on the last syllable here but I think I got away with it *** Self effacing irony, not racism that could, in itself be racism masked as self effacing irony, I'm on the fence. **** senseless line splitting here to make it seem more modernist ***** ??? basically this is from a lyric I always liked from U2 "in a little while" ****** Brutal combination