The Uncomfortable Truth About Why You’re Not Growing скачать в хорошем качестве

The Uncomfortable Truth About Why You’re Not Growing

Most of us were taught to avoid tension. To keep the peace. To smooth things over and move on. But what if that instinct is holding you back? In this reflection, Tristan Ahumada shares a mindset shift that changed how he leads, communicates, and grows. Growing up, conflict felt dangerous. Something to survive, not engage with. But history tells a different story. The Stoics knew it. Great leaders understood it. The obstacle isn’t blocking your path… it is the path. Tristan walks through a real day of coaching, podcast recording, and difficult conversations that tested this principle. When someone on his team struggled with a tough situation involving Juan, it wasn’t about avoiding the discomfort. It was about leaning into empathy while still holding the line. Because people will protect themselves first, and that’s not always wrong. It’s just human. There’s also an undercurrent of urgency here. Listening to content about 1929 that morning reminded him that time is shorter than we think. The window to push harder, to build the right habits, to stop waiting for perfect conditions… it’s closing. The webinar on AI and social media opened eyes. The podcast got recorded. The coaching session went deep. All because tension was treated as fuel, not friction. This isn’t about becoming confrontational. It’s about reframing what conflict means. It’s about recognizing that the conversations you avoid, the feedback you don’t give, the standards you don’t enforce… those are the places where your leadership gets tested. If you’ve been running from hard conversations, this perspective might be exactly what you need to hear. Q: Why is avoiding conflict bad for personal growth? A: Avoiding conflict keeps you stuck in the same patterns. Growth happens when you face tension head-on, learn from it, and adjust. The challenges you avoid are the ones holding you back. Q: How do you separate emotion from reaction during conflict? A: Pause before you speak. Name what you're feeling out loud or in your head: "I'm frustrated," "I'm hurt," "I'm confused." This creates space between the emotion and your response, so you can act intentionally instead of impulsively. Q: What does it mean to focus on understanding instead of winning in conflict? A: Most conflicts aren't about being right. They're about uncovering truth and building clarity. When you focus on understanding the other person's perspective, you gain insight, even if you don't "win" the argument. Losing teaches you more than winning ever will. Q: How can conflict actually mean you're going the right way? A: Conflict shows up when you're doing something meaningful. If you're growing, leading, or building something real, tension is inevitable. It's a signal that you're on a path that matters, not a sign that you should turn back. Q: What should you reflect on after a conflict ends? A: Ask yourself three questions: What did I learn about myself? What truth came out that needed to? What can I do differently next time? Reflection turns every conflict into a lesson you can use moving forward. 00:00 Introduction 00:17 3rd Grade lesson 02:12 Lesson to embrace Conflict 03:33 Me talking to myself about notes 04:34 1. Reframe what conflict means 05:14 2. Separate emotion from reaction 05:54 3. Focus on understanding, not winning 06:56 4. Train your nervous system 08:01 Reflect after each conflict