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My 2nd best fave hard rock/AOR version (thanks to Lou Gramm/Foreigner & crew for the inspiration) "American Vanity: A Dead-icated Consumer” © 2026 Aaron Zornes Intro (half-time, drums building) What good is it? If you can’t wear it, drive it, or eat it — What good is it? Verse 1 – Wear It Wear it (oh yeah) wear it loud & proud Disposable “fast fashion”, personal identity sold out “Limited drop” for the chosen few Four hundred thousand dressed just like you Three-week trend, then one wash dead Feel like a celebrity, TikTok fame inside your head (oh, yeah) Pre-Chorus Shine it up — show ‘em you care If you can’t consume it — it isn’t there Chorus If you can’t wear it, drive it, or eat it — It don’t mean a thing If it don’t flash, crash, or supersize — It ain’t the American Dream With my algorithm-fed heart and data-mined brain I am a dead-icated consumer What good is it? Oh, yeah, oh! If you can’t wear it, drive it, or eat it … What good is it? Verse 2 – Drive It Drive it (yeah, oh yeah) drive it loud & proud Six-thousand pounds of freedom now A tactical urban assault vehicle for coffee runs Zombie-proof for Starbucks-sippin’ soccer moms Too wide to park, and too clean for dirt Ninety grand for leather seats — boy, does that hurt All this just to sit in 2 hour gridlock— heavy engine hum But the neighbors know you’ve won A living room on wheels” … rev it up — let ‘em see Vanity-driven debt dressed up as dignity Pre-Chorus Shine it up — show ‘em you care If you can’t consume it — it isn’t (really) there Chorus If you can’t wear it, drive it, or eat it — It don’t mean a thing If it don’t flash, crash, or supersize — It ain’t the American Dream Credit-card crown, swipe-machine king I am a dead-icated consumer What good is it? If you can’t wear it, drive it, or eat it … What good is it? Verse 3 – Eat It Eat it (yes, oh yeah), eat it greedy & fast Yet twenty-five percent of weekly groceries rot in the trash Sixty-four ounces of super-sized liberty Three times the sugar-loaded misery A “value meal” is “nutritional suicide” yet we double down Enough salt to preserve a woolly mammoth brown But take the Instagram photo first! — please don’t take a bite! It’s a deconstructed taco – an “artisanal delight” Break (Half-Time, Snarled Vocal) (I need to) supersize my self-control (I need a) “Big Gulp” to fill up my emotional black hole Tap my phone to charge again, another great dopamine drip “Fashion freedom” looking more like corporate logo sponsorship Final Chorus (Double-Time Energy) If you can’t wear it, drive it, or eat it (yeah, oh yeah) — It don’t mean a thing If it don’t flash, crash, or supersize (oh yeah) — It ain’t the American Dream With my algorithm-fed heart and data-mined brain I am a dead-icated consumer (oh yeah) With my credit-card crown, I am a swipe-machine king I am a dead-icated consumer (yeah, yeah, yeah) What good is it? (oh yeah) If you can’t wear it, drive it, or eat it … What good is it? Outro (Gang Vocals / Chant) Wear it! Drive it! Eat it! Wear it! Drive it! Eat it! (drop instruments except drums) What good is it? (full band hit) IF YOU CAN’T WEAR IT, DRIVE IT, OR EAT IT … WHAT GOOD IS IT?!?!?!