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The Ballad of old Pascal

[CHORUS] Oh, roll, boys, roll, boys, roll the code along, Roll, boys, roll—Pascal’s old but strong! Oh, roll, boys, roll, boys, roll it if you can— For I can’t make head nor tail o’ this Pascal plan! [VERSE 1] I shipped aboard with a modern rig my software fine and neat, But the bosun cried, “No fancy tools - our language can't be beat! He slammed a tome on the galley table, smilin' as he did “Here’s Pascal, lad, now prove to us you can code like Captain Kidd” [CHORUS] Oh, roll, boys, roll, boys, roll the code along, Roll, boys, roll—Pascal’s old but strong! Oh, roll, boys, roll, boys, roll it if you can— For I can’t make head nor tail o’ this Pascal plan! [VERSE 2] It’s BEGIN at dawn, it’s END at dusk, and semicolons too, And every line’s a lanyard knot I’m forced to wiggle through. I try to hoist a function high, she lists to larboard side— A missing bracket will scuttle ye, as sure as any tide! [CHORUS] Oh, roll, boys, roll, boys, roll the code along, Roll, boys, roll—Pascal’s old but strong! Oh, roll, boys, roll, boys, roll it if you can— For I can’t make head nor tail o’ this Pascal plan! [VERSE 3] They call for “units” from the storeroom, stamped in ’93, I open ’em and out come bugs like fleas off salty sea. The compiler screams like stormy gulls, then leaves me none the wiser Just warns me of me wicked ways and acts as me chastiser! [CHORUS] Oh, roll, boys, roll, boys, roll the code along, Roll, boys, roll—Pascal’s old but strong! Oh, roll, boys, roll, boys, roll it if you can— For I can’t make head nor tail o’ this Pascal plan! [VERSE 4] “Use pointers!” roars the quartermaster: I pale beneath me tan, For that’s a ghost that haunts the hold of many a ruined man. I’d trade a chest o’ units for a memory management call But here we splice our memory like tar on timber wall! [CHORUS] Oh, roll, boys, roll, boys, roll the code along, Roll, boys, roll—Pascal’s old but strong! Oh, roll, boys, roll, boys, roll it if you can— For I can’t make head nor tail o’ this Pascal plan! [VERSE 5] So if you see me on the deck with coffee in me hand, I’m squintin’ at antiquity and prayin' for dry land. I’ll toast the olden sailors, aye, who made this vessel last— But I’ll jump ship for modern seas when this long watch is past! [CHORUS] Oh, roll, boys, roll, boys, roll the code along, Roll, boys, roll—Pascal’s old but strong! Oh, roll, boys, roll, boys, roll it if you can— For I can’t make head nor tail o’ this Pascal plan!