The Real Real Reason Couples Stop Having Sex | James Earl скачать в хорошем качестве

The Real Real Reason Couples Stop Having Sex | James Earl

James Earl is a qualified relationship and psychosexual therapist who works privately with individuals and couples in London - https://www.jamesearl.com - Before training as a therapist, James was a professional jazz pianist and a university lecturer in philosophy - experiences that continue to shape how he works with people today. Alongside his clinical work he contributes regularly to the media, including The Guardian and Newsweek. In this conversation, James and Harry deconstruct the complex, often paradoxical relationship between love and desire. The conversation explores why we often find it hardest to desire the people we love most and how modern expectations of soulmates and complete transparency might actually be sabotaging our erotic lives. Drawing on the works of Freud, Lacan, and Esther Perel, James offers a refreshing, non-pathologising view on the "low libido" myth, the function of pornography as an anaesthetic for anxiety, and how rediscovering curiosity for the unknown within our partners can revitalise long-term intimacy. Key Topics: 🦋 The Love-Desire Paradox: Love seeks unity, while desire requires a gap between two people to flourish. 🦋 Reframing Libido: Sexual dynamics as an "economy of desire" where the low-libido partner holds control. 🦋 Pornography as Anaesthesia: Compulsive porn use often self-medicates feelings of anxiety, helplessness, or melancholy. 🦋 Attachment as Creativity: Anxious and avoidant attachment styles are creative childhood solutions for family survival. 🦋 The Unknowable Partner: Recognising we never fully know a partner's desire maintains long-term erotic curiosity. 0:00 Intro 0:30 Love ≠ Desire 3:54 James’ Journey 10:51 Reframing "High Libido / Low Libido" 13:02 Gender Differences 18:15 Attachment Theory 22:40 Lacan 24:39 Unrealistic Expectations 29:30 A Conversation Every Couple Should Have 30:36 Cheating 33:00 The Soulmate Fantasy 37:00 Working With Loss of Desire 38:04 Thoughts On Pornography 41:22 Working with Porn Addiction 43:03 Shame & Embarrassment 44:32 Sexual Orientation 48:09 Societal Taboos 50:53 What Will Change in 50 Years? 52:05 We Don't Fully Know The Other Person Subscribe to ‪@OnBecomingATherapist‬ for more conversations like this one, on all things psychotherapy. #attachmentstyles #sextherapist #psychotherapy #desire #freud