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Emotional Devastated by a Dating Sim Game

Arthur only wanted to learn English… but instead, he found heartbreak. After importing a Japanese dating simulator called “Romancing Teddy,” Arthur spends five emotional days guiding a lovable teddy bear through the brutal battlefield of digital romance — armed with nothing but an English patch, a translation laptop, and dangerously high hopes. Rejection after rejection sends him into a melodramatic spiral worthy of an anime finale, proving that love hurts… even when you’re technically a stuffed animal. Blending French flair with high-energy J-Pop rock vibes, “Emotionally Devastated by a Dating Sim Game” is an over-the-top anthem for anyone who has ever taken a video game way too seriously. Press start… and prepare your heart. From the forthcoming new album by EmanoN titled "Nonsense Songs for the Ages V" (Verse 1) Arthur bought a game at 2 a.m. Imported straight from old Tokyo Menu screen said “Install English Patch” He whispered, “…I hope this helps me grow…” Two computers glowing in the night Google Translate fighting for its life “Press X to flirt”… what does that mean?! Is this romance… or digital strife? Four hours in — still customizing fur Pink bowtie or sapphire vest? He hasn’t met a single girl But this teddy bear looks best-dressed depressed (Pre-Chorus) Dictionary open… tears begin “Affection level insufficient again…” He mutters softly in Franglais: "Why they no love me… mon ami…?" (Chorus) I am emotionally devastated By a dating sim I should have hated Rejected by girls animated My self-esteem has been downgraded Romancing Teddy broke my heart Didn’t know pain could come in art Five days deep — I’ve fallen apart HOW IS THE KOALA BEATING ME?! (Verse 2) Option A: compliment her shoes Option B: quote romantic prose He chose C somehow… insulted her cat Now she permanently says “NO.” Second laptop translating fast “Charm is low” — yeah thanks a ton Arthur screams in three languages: "THIS GAME IS NOT FUN!" He tried giving gifts — digital tea Wrote her poems with ChatGPT She said, “Let’s just be friends…” Even fake girls friend-zone me?! (Pre-Chorus) Sleep schedule? Gone. Hygiene? Optional. He whispers to the screen: "Tell me what you want… I can be bear-y emotional…" (Chorus) I am emotionally devastated Confidence completely confiscated Outperformed by bears computer-generated My loneliness has been upgraded Romancing Teddy stole my soul Now I’m just a man with no control Five days in — existential hole WHY DOES THE PANDA HAVE SIX GIRLFRIENDS?! (Bridge — dramatic, build it BIG) Day five… Curtains closed… baguette untouched… He looks into the mirror and gasps — "…Am I… the teddy bear?" Accent slipping… Grammar improving… Sanity declining… LOVE METER STILL ZERO. (Breakdown — half spoken / half screamed) Install patch! Reload save! Study verbs! BEHAVE! He finally gets a date — She says: "You remind me of my brother." GAME OVER. (Final Chorus) I am emotionally devastated Mentally and ROM-erased-ed Who knew love could be so complicated When you are digitally underrated Delete the game? Too far gone. Arthur whispers… "…Just one more run…" Romancing Teddy owns my fate It’s now 3:48… day eight… PLEASE… SOMEONE… LOVE THIS BEAR.