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what if you are the problem?

i feel like the automatic response to a problem or conflict is to blame everyone and everything other than ourselves. it's not very automatic to run into a problem and immediately ask, did this problem arise or did this conflict happen because i did something wrong too? for the last two years, i've been working on asking myself if there’s any chance that maybe i'm the problem, and reflecting on whether or not i actually did do something wrong when conflict arises. it’s a lot easier to start pointing fingers and blaming everything on everyone else. it makes us feel like we're in the power position. it allows us to play the victim in a way which can be a much more comfortable place to be. but i truly believe that life gets better when we get into a habit of asking ourselves if we are the problem.