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Should Straight People Be Allowed In Gay Spaces?

In this episode, married queers Alix & Kayla debate one of the most polarizing topics in LGBTQ+ culture—from gay bars and lesbian parties to allies, baby gays, and the future of community spaces. It’s thoughtful, funny, deeply personal… and ends with the messiest "Who’s the Problem" yet (yes, it involves towels). This conversation explores queer history, safety, allyship, feminism, chosen family, and why context matters more than hard rules. 00:00 – Intro: married, queer & back for the new year 02:10 – “Everyone’s a little bi?” identity & labels 04:30 – The real question: straight people in queer spaces 07:45 – Coming out in 2009 & first gay bar experiences 12:05 – Why queer spaces feel intimidating (and necessary) 15:10 – Straight friends, allies & knowing the culture 18:45 – Lesbian spaces vs gay male spaces 22:10 – When inclusion goes too far (and when it doesn’t) 25:45 – Queer Camp: who it’s for and why it changed everything 31:30 – Bars vs retreats: sex, safety & intention 36:30 – Can you even “police” queerness? 41:45 – WHO’S THE PROBLEM: The Towel Incident 🫠 49:50 – Final thoughts & listener call-in #QueerPodcast #LGBTQPodcast #QueerSpaces #Allyship #LesbianPodcast #StraightInGaySpaces #QueerCommunity #ChosenFamily #Feminism #WivesNotSisters #WhoIsTheProblem