Why No Contact With a Narcissist Always Benefits the Target скачать в хорошем качестве

Why No Contact With a Narcissist Always Benefits the Target

Why No Contact With a Narcissist Always Benefits the Target: The case for no contact with a narcissist. Before we even begin let’s be clear no contact is often times not initiated by the victim, but is rather used as a tool by the narcissist to walk away from a situation and avoid having to answer for all of the evil, lies, and deceit that they perpetrated upon their partner. To the victim that doesn’t get any answers from the narc after they walk away, it may seem like no contact is the worst possible thing. Yes there is no doubt that no contact from the narc is a form of abuse that benefits the narcissist, but we aren't focusing on the short term benefits to the narc and the immediate injury to the discarded victim. Instead, we are looking at the long-term implications of no contact and how no contact is ultimately very beneficial to the victim. Does the narc benefit from this long-term no contact? Possibly they do, maybe not, but the thing that we must focus on is the victim and getting them back to emotional, psychological, mental, and physical health. What we’re trying to do is make sure that the victim regains hope in their lives and restores their faith in humanity. Those are our goals. So whether the narcissist benefits or doesn’t benefit long-term from no contact is of no consequence. The narcissist has done what they’ve done, they’ve had it their way, they’ve gotten everything they wanted, and any repercussions from what they have done to their ex partner is on them and on them alone. Yes we em paths tend to care about our partners even though we were terribly attacked and abused. Any sane person with the ability to truly love another human being and commit to them simply can't just turn off that love and commitment like a light switch. Only the narc can walk away cold turkey and in doing so they give themselves away. This ability to move on and get over a relationship instantly and have another relationship is a clear giveaway that that narc never cared or loved or committed or had any loyalty. It is a clear indicator that the narc was a total fraud. Of course the warped narc will be with their new friend and then turn around and tell the abandoned partner they were the disloyal one. The sad thing is the victim will be so distraught by the whole shock of seeing their partner remove their mask and turn into a total stranger that the partner will actually buy this totally ridiculous and unfeasible statement. But with no contact the fog begins to clear and the mind starts reorganizing itself and begins once again thinking rationally, logically, and with reason. Once the mind is functioning and thinking clearly and the victim has done their homework and learned about covert narcissism they can begin the long, convoluted journey of discovering and comprehending what happened to them. It is essential to understand those experiences with the narc for what they were in actuality, in reality. At the time the victim had those experiences they were being interpreted in the context of the fantasy existence the narc had created and not the real world. Yes, that whole experience with the narcissist from the very first moment that creep entered their lives to D day, the day of discard and abrupt no contact is now slowly disassembled into its component parts and each part re evaluated with the knowledge gained about covert narcissism. New revelations occur daily as memories of the past are triggered by things the victim encounters as they go about their daily lives. In the beginning those memories cause acute and intense episodes of emotional pain. That emotional pain can range from a sense of dread, a sense of worthlessness and hopelessness to intense anxiety, to deep rage as the duplicity, deceit, lack of honesty, and malevolent treachery of the narc now comes clearly into focus. Some of these triggered intense emotional episodes can bring that victim to their knees, paralyze them mentally and emotionally and for that reason are rightfully called PTSD. But the victim takes each of these episodes of PTSD and uses that pain to focus their attention and work out what is going on, gaining insight into what misconceptions are causing these totally irrational feelings. One by one these episodes are confronted, like a bull is taken by the horns, and analyzed. Over the course of many months the PTSD subsides and the importance of the narc in that victim's life fades. The victim begins to understand that the narc is an irrational human being that never had any real reason to treat them as badly as they did. Slowly the victim gets themselves off the hook and realizes that the narc's opinion of them, the idealized fake opinion in the beginning and the fake devaluation at the end, were all pure fabrications and that makes the narc's opinion irrelevant. Yes, the victim's greatest mistake was respecting that narcissist...