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I Can't Lie

Hi, I'm Beth and I have a problem. It's kind of a medical condition, or maybe it's more psychological. I don't really know, but it's really messing up my life. It started about six months ago. I was talking to my friend Erin when it happened the first time. It was an ordinary day. We were going to go out to a party with a bunch of people from school and she was telling me all about this guy that she had a crush on or whatever. I didn't really care so I just let her go on about it. Anyway, I guess she really wanted to impress him because she tried on like 40 different outfits and wanted my opinion on every one of them. Not only that, but she had to coordinate her makeup with her clothes and make sure she had just the right shade of lipstick and the right earrings and some other crap I didn't care about. So by the time she got to outfit number 47 and I felt like my eyes were going to start bleeding, I was pretty much just playing along and nodding. But then she stopped and was like "what's wrong with your face?" I started to get offended but then she showed me a mirror and I saw that I had this crazy rash all of a sudden. It looked like I was having some kind of allergic reaction. I had never experienced anything like that before. Five minutes later, it was gone. I went back through retracing my steps trying to figure out what could have caused it. It wasn't something I ate. It wasn't my fabric softener. I couldn't figure it out, but I thought it was just a random weird thing. I thought it was just that one time and didn't mean anything. I was very wrong. It's happened several more times. I've been to the doctor about it, but it's never happening at the time and they can't find anything wrong with me. I got a little more scared each time it happened. The second time I remember it happening was after a date I had with this guy from school. The date did not go well. All he did was talk about himself and I couldn't figure out if I was more bored or annoyed. He did not pick up on that vibe at all. At the end of the night, he was like "I had a great time. We should go out again sometime." My head was saying "hell no." But I heard my mouth say "me too. We should totally hang again sometime." And then what surprised me was that he looked like even he was confused about why I would say that. He was looking at me like I had two heads. Then he said, "what's up with your face?" Yep, same crazy rash. Then another time my parents were talking to me and guess what happened? It was bad enough that my mom took me to urgent care to make sure it wasn't something really serious. Of course, the doctor couldn't find anything out and thought we were crazy. That wasn't all though. This happened to me several times at school and other places. When I started thinking about all these times, it started to make perfect sense. When my friend was trying on clothes, I just wanted it to end so I told her she looked great. I told "bad date guy" that I had a great time. I told my parents I wasn't going to a party. Now, I've never heard of someone being allergic to lying, but now I think that's a thing. I can't tell a lie without looking like I have leprosy or something. Some of my friends started to figure it out. Can you imagine walking around highschool hooked up to a polygraph? That's basically my life. It's horrible. I can't keep anything from anyone. If I like a guy or I'm jealous of some dumb cheerleader's shoes or anything else I wouldn't normally tell anyone, all they have to do is ask and I can't lie. My parents pieced it together too. I think that was a great day in parent world but not so much for me. They're pretty excited about having a teenager that can't hide anything from them. But can you even comprehend what it's like to have your parents know everything about you? I know it's generally wrong to lie, but it's hard to go through life being completely honest and telling people the truth all the time. No one wants to always hear the truth about themselves. I've lost friends because I have to be honest even if it hurts their feelings. Even if I do lie to protect their feelings, they will know. Basically, it's like I can't even keep anything to myself. It's like everyone knows everything I think. It's so hard and I don't know what to do.