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Death By Butt

There's a man they call Syllefar He rolls into town on his old guitar The Funnyboys follow — that's Dronkie and Jimmi They saw what he did and it drove them near screwy He sits at the bar, orders whiskey and bread But something is brewing deep south of his head The tension is building, the saloon goes still Nobody moves — but the air sure will The candles flicker, the old dog runs Even the sheriff has loaded his guns There ain't no outlaw, there ain't no crime Just a man and his thunder — it's only a matter of time Death by butt! (Death by butt!) Syllefar strikes again Death by butt! (Death by butt!) The Funnyboys can't defend Dronkie covers his nose, Jimmi hits the floor One man's reckoning, they never signed up for more Death — by — BUTT! ] The legend spread west to the mountains of stone Where the dwarves wrote it down on a wall near the throne "A warrior passed through — no sword, no shield Just the mightiest weapon the old man could wield" Dronkie wrote a ballad, Jimmi carved the tale Of the evening in the saloon where the air grew stale Glasses fell off shelves, the piano stopped mid-song Everybody knew something had gone terribly wrong The candles flicker, the old dog runs Even the sheriff has loaded his guns There ain't no outlaw, there ain't no crime Just a man and his thunder — it's only a matter of time Death by butt! (Death by butt!) Syllefar strikes again Death by butt! (Death by butt!) The Funnyboys can't defend Dronkie covers his nose, Jimmi hits the floor One man's reckoning, they never signed up for more Death — by — BUTT! (Dronkie, spoken low and solemn:) "I've faced trolls in the dark. I've crossed rivers of ice. But nothing... NOTHING prepares a man for this." (Jimmi, barely holding it together:) "He just smiled. He just sat there and smiled." Here he comes — hold your breath Here he comes — riding wind Here he comes — nothing left Syllefar strikes again! DEATH BY BUTT! (DEATH BY BUTT!) Syllefar, king of the west! DEATH BY BUTT! (DEATH BY BUTT!) He laid them all to rest! Dronkie tips his hat, Jimmi raises a horn To the stinkiest legend since the day they were born DEATH — BY — BUUUTT! And somewhere in the mountains, the old dwarves still say: "Never follow Syllefar on a bean-heavy day..."