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Shadowhunters

There’s a blip on the radar, she’s limping along, With a flag from a country where she don't belong! Her hull is just rust held together with twine, But the Swedish Coast Guard is out on the line! Oh, she’s leaking and creaking and listing to port, A maritime disaster of the very worst sort! So lower the R I B and fire up the engine, We’ve got some strict safety rules to be defending! Heave away, haul away, bring out the brew! We’re impounding your vessel and rescuing you! Your engine is smoking, your rudder is dead, So welcome to Sweden—have coffee instead! OPERATION BLACK COFFEE! They call themselves "shadows," they sneak through the mist, But they're top of the sanctioned list! With duct tape and prayers they are braving the sea, And they haven't been seaworthy since '93! The captain is nervous, the rigging is frayed, But we pull alongside and we are not dismayed! We step on the deck with a smile and a wave, From a watery locker, these sailors we save! Heave away, haul away, bring out the brew! We’re impounding your vessel and rescuing you! Your engine is smoking, your rudder is dead, So welcome to Sweden—have coffee instead! OPERATION BLACK COFFEE! We climb down the hatch to the belly below, Where the engine is coughing and moving too slow! There’s a hose patched with chewing gum, gaskets of clay, And the bilges are pumping the ocean away! "Oh my," says the Swede with his clipboard in hand, "It’s a miracle, frankly, you ever left land!" So shut off the pistons and power it down, We'll tow you in safely right into the town! Heave away, haul away, bring out the brew! We’re impounding your vessel and rescuing you! Your engine is smoking, your rudder is dead, So welcome to Sweden—have coffee instead! OPERATION BLACK COFFEE! Pump out the bilge! Check on the hull! Your paperwork's fake and your maintenance null! But don't be afraid of the yellow and blue, We’ve got a fresh cinnamon pastry for you! There are free-enterprising crews out on the brine, With letters of marque and a thirst for a dime! They’re hunting these shadow ships, eager for loot, With grappling hooks ready and cannons to boot! But the Coast Guard steps in right before they attack, We're saving your skins from the privateer pack! So call off the raiders and put down the sword, You're perfectly safe now that we are aboard! Heave away, haul away, bring out the brew! We’re impounding your vessel and rescuing you! Your engine is smoking, your rudder is dead, So welcome to Sweden—have coffee instead! OPERATION BLACK COFFEE! So toss us a line, we will tow you to shore, You won't sail this dangerous tub anymore! We’ll teach you of standards and maritime law, The rustiest bucket that we ever saw. The shadow fleet sinks and the shadow fleet fails, But Swedish hospitality always prevails! Heave away, haul away, bring out the brew! We’re impounding your vessel and rescuing you! Your engine is smoking, your rudder is dead, So welcome to Sweden—have coffee instead! OPERATION BLACK COFFEE! Yeah, welcome to Sweden, have coffee instead! "Would you like milk or sugar with that penalty time?"