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Leadership Workshop: Hard Lessons in Retaliation

Welcome to A Psychologist Talks! In today's "workshop," I offer an analysis on a live exchange between leaders that serves as a brutal lesson in how dangerous defensive retaliation can be. And what is this exchange between leaders? Uh oh. It's the President of the United States! But stick with me! This episode repeatedly discusses leadership choices, including a frequent analogue of two companies negotiating a merger (or acquisition). Truly, the video is a wonderfully tragic and deeply troubling lesson on a common pitfall of leadership. As is often the case, while it's useful to know what TO DO, it is often very useful to witness what NOT TO DO. PS: Watch your audio volume, as my recording method required increased gain ("pops" more). KEY QUOTES "If your employees are watching this and they are not drinking the Kool-Aid that authoritarianism is the best way to operate - like they literally had to work underneath this person; Trump and Vance - they would be sitting there going like, 'Gosh, I hope I never have a disagreement with what the company is trying to do, because I have zero voice. I have zero ability to give anything that is outside a narrative of positivity.' It is gone, it is destroyed in this moment." "...from the people who have the most power in the room already. It is not a position of strength, it is not a showing of strength; it is an abuse of power in any context and any right. And even if you wanted to take a more hierarchical approach to leadership, you would do it more artfully than this; you would do it less aggressively than this. This is a failure in leadership style 101, unequivocally." "Or in a marriage [what if a partner said]: 'Where would you be without ME in this situation? You'd be out destitute; you'd living in a a shack somewhere if it wasn't for me.'" ... "You're nothing without me." TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Intro 01:08 Context & Comments on Alignment 05:10 The Narrative Begins... What About Alignment? 06:03 Calmly Confronting Faux Alignment (& Why Publicly?) 12:49 Defensive, Aggressive Retaliation 1 15:34 A Necessary or Unnecessary Power Struggle? 18:02 Defensive, Aggressive Retaliation 2 23:04 Back to the Beginning: Leading Based on a Narrative (versus principle) 25:14 Unnecessary Escalation (and ongoing derailing) 30:41 Faux Rescuing & Ongoing Abuse (and a relationship example) 35:04 Outra... It's a Mess 39:00 Summary