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What i did yesterday

What I did yesterday. Yesterday I didn’t eat breakfast until lunch. I drank blood orange juice from the small glass cups they had. I chatted with the Sicilians, cleaned my pipe, and then smoked from it—a big ass smoke that got me lit. When I returned to my room, I either began or continued to transcribe a video about Japanese overwork. The term is karoshi (death by overwork). What stood out to me was not the amount of overtime endured,... but the loss of sleep. This, more than the work itself, is probably what finally breaks the Japanese worker to suicide, I can barely drive without sleep.... This had me wondering: is suicide accepted as a kind of less shameful exit from life in Japan? if you cant continue your contribution to your job, is it okay to just,... not continue at all??! In the West, suicide is more directly seen as the killing of oneself—a killing act. It is also however referred to as a "commitment"... So, does suicide end suffering, or is it only selfish? At 37, I can somewhat understand the impulse to end it. When I was younger, I was lucky enough to be oblivious to suffering—in myself or anyone else. I lacked the experiences to make suffering important.....Until a few women made me cry tears. But apparently, you don’t need experience to take action. What about those who choose suicide without suffering for a long time? Can they even imagine what that event will do to them and those around them? Are they brave? Or are they so confused that they are only biologically pushed to take action? Or are they actually taking control, making it all, "stop" In this world where it’s normal to intentionally hurt each other, I don’t blame any suicide. I do, however, wonder if it is the result of a "shared life", so sick, that even children would choose death. HOLY FUCKING DOG SHIT!