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Dark Passenger

#mentalhealthsongs #mentalhealth #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #depression #bipolar #cptsd #ptsd #executivedysfunction #anxiety #panicattacks #chronicpain #chronicillness #suicidalideation #grief #griefjourney #abusesurvivors They say resilient like its a badge of honor They talk of strength like its glorified armor But they aren't inside my head Where demons have made their beds I live in darkness with a smile on my face No one knows when my emotions are fake Numb or angry is all I feel now I just want to scream it all out Panic attacks, Anxiety attacks, and depression galore They make me not want to live anymore I sit and stare paralyzed in my chair No matter how bad I want my feet to just touch the floor They’ve called me lazy from what I can't muster the strength to do My brain won’t work like a typical person no matter how badly I want it to Its in my muscles not just my head Everything hurts so bad I wish I was dead I live in darkness with a smile on my face No one knows when my emotions are fake Numb or angry is all I feel now I just want to scream it all out I used to be at war with parts of me inside It made me feel two faced because I thought I had to pick a side The light and the dark, an angel and a devil Balanced together now I love hard but that doesn’t mean I’m weak I’ll rip your head off just as easily People try to manipulate me when they see that im broken But they don’t know how many times I've earned that phoenix token You can’t be any crueler than the demons in my head The ones that tell me im worthless or ugly every time I lay in bed The voices say everyone's better off without me There’s nothing worse you can do don’t doubt me I didn’t want to be resilient I wanted to be safe For strength to be something said from lifting weights I didnt want the trauma, take it all away Because I am tired of feeling this way