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Common Narcissistic Behaviours

This video discusses some of the common things that narcissists do. Narcissistic parents do not respect the physical, psychological or emotional privacy or boundaries of their children. They may read their diaries and search their rooms. They will not respect their children’s secrets and privacy and will often embarrass their children by disclosing private information to others. They often shame their children for their normal bodily functions. When their children reach their teenage years, they may become highly jealous and critical. They will often abandon their children. They will treat their children differently. Favoured children are known as ‘golden’ children and unfavoured children are known as ‘scapegoats.’ They will spend little money or time on ‘scapegoat’ children while lavishing gifts on the ‘golden’ children. They will continually devalue their ‘scapegoat’ children. Narcissistic parents will play their children against each other with a technique known as triangulation, which is essentially a divide and rule tactic. When their children become adults, they may have flirtations or more with their children’s partners. They can be highly competitive and may compete with their children. This means their children may often underachieve or be ‘mediocre’ in life to deflect the intense competitiveness and jealousy of a narcissistic parent. Children of narcissists may often be made to leave the family home at a relatively young age. They will manipulate others in order to meet their needs. Much of what they say or do has an ulterior motive. They will rarely, if ever, apologise as they view themselves as always correct. They have a strong need to control people and events around them. They use the emotionally abusive punishments of the silent treatment and narcissistic rage. They will generally blame others for everything they feel has gone wrong. They generally refuse to take personal responsibility for their behaviour and the consequences of their actions. They will often use shame and fear to control others. They do not value the feelings and opinions of other people. They will use a technique known as ‘gaslighting’ to control others. Gaslighting is an insidious form of manipulation and psychological control. Victims of gaslighting are deliberately and systematically fed false information that leads them to question what they know to be true, often about themselves. They may end up doubting their memory, their perception, and even their sanity. People with NPD have a tendency to present one face to their victims and another to the rest of the world. This leads their victims to assume that if they ask for help or speak out, they will not be believed. Gaslighters typically repeat the tactics across several relationships and involves a pattern of abusive behaviours with the intent not just to influence someone, but to control them. https://childrenofnarcissists.org.uk/ https://sarahgrahamcounselling.com/