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Sleepless thoughts

Just something i made at night.. used a pre-made beat, hope you like it. Lyrics: Never again will i try to sleep Eternally my mind penetrates for what i weep Sickening thoughts of what i could be and what i should see I really don't want anything more than being me Red eyes sting and pupils bleed from all the nasty shit they've seen Actions speak louder than words will creep as i struggle to survive in a world so cheap Only knowing what i know is insufficient believing in a heart that's so inconsistent There is a demon in everyone that you believe believes There is a reason why the night reaches more than deep A true lifeform of unconceived meat Rather than taking hits and beating what has to bleed the search for what we want is bigger than for what we need without a second doubt of thinking what we should see Only i lay awake thinking of how to care Was anything i ever gave even worth to share Finding someone who's eyes don't lie to me seems inappropriately impossible to bear Why am i the one searching this puzzle piece I never wanted missing parts to be retrieved Most of the time i just wanted to feel relief Cause whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap Now listen close to my melody What the heart desires most is what it will keep In the past these are the things that i did not see Break down the walls of all the lies of insecurity For what you do not see approaching, comes surprisingly If there would only be a way to put the pain at ease We could embrace our lives to go on so unknowingly Then we could quietly stay safe into infinity And i could spend the night calmly when i'm in the sheets Unlike an urge to take my life that's growing hourly All the red lights that are broken will turn green I'd finally find a rest in peace that would mean everything 2x I could see what i could be now i cant be what i could see now