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Willie Wastle. Robert Burns song performed by Rod Paterson. Standard English Translation. Willie Wastle dwelt on Tweed, The spot they called it Linkumdoddie. Willie was a weaver good Could stown a clew with any body. packs a ball of thread'.) He had a wife was sullen and dun (dark complexioned), O, Tinker (Gypsy) Maidgeie was her mother! Such a wife as Willie had, I would not give a button for her. She has an eye (she has but one), The cat has two the very (same) colour, Five rusty teeth, besides a stump, A (bell) clapper-tongue would deafen a miller; A whisker beard about her mouth, Her nose and chin they threaten each other (nearly meet): Such a wife as Willie had, I would not give a button for her. She is bow legged, she is hem-shin'd (also bow legged), One limping leg a hand-breadth shorter; She is twisted right, she is twisted left, To balance fair in each quarter; She has a hump upon her breast, The twin of that upon her shoulder: Such a wife as Willie had, I would not give a button for her. Old cats by the fireplace sits, And with her paw her face a-washing; But Willie's wife in not so neat, She wipes her face with a footless stocking; Her ample fists like manure baskets, Her face would foul the Logan Water: Such a wife as Willie had, I would not give a button for her.