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Carcinogen Maxxing

Carcinogen Maxing Quick edit this video is satirical and although I make jokes I do not intend to downplay the seriousness of cancer. With that said here’s the video. Everywhere you look nowadays you see news studies articles about how meat gives you cancer plastic gives you shit cancer gives you cancer and honestly, I feel like we are looking at it through a one sided lens. What about the people who actually want to get cancer, today we are looking at the people who have dedicated themselves to carcinogen maxxing. This has probably been a phenomenon for a while now however it kind of exploded in popularity following some posts from 4 Chan about carcinogen maxxing. In a thread about pizza toppings, one anon says his favourite way to eat pizza is eating them completely burnt, he says that it doesn’t really taste that good but they are carcinogenic. Another anon asks what carcinogen maxxing is and the original anon replies he is min maxxing his food consumption to increase his carcinogen intake to eventually contract cancer. If you look into the science of eating burnt foods anon is indeed correct that they do give you cancer and its to do with the burnt food containing carbon free radicals that can ionise cells and create cancerous cells. Now that I have explained what Carcinogen Maxxing is you might be wondering how you the dear viewer can partake in carcinogen maxxing. We are going to be looking at several methods of carcinogen maxxing starting with cigarettes. Everyone is vaping nowadays everywhere you look, you walk past a group of gangsters and all you smell is blueberry muffins. What happened to the real men who were blowing literal poison clouds every time they took a drag. I suggest we bring back smoking and let the public have a breath of not-so-fresh air again. Back alley Is all the money there? Good ill make sure to say something nice about ciggies in the next video. And did your boss tell you about the super donation pack I will advocate for reducing the smoking age to 0 why let children have secondhand smoke when they can get the real thing am I right? Did you hear that? Hey who's there? Shit it’s the feds. You never saw a thing. Now for those of you carcinogen maxxing smoking a pack a day is a good place to start but it will still take you about 20 years or more before you start seeing real results. The fastest way to carcinogen max is to age rapidly, the likelihood of cancer development is like 1000x more likely when comparing 18–25-year-olds which is the majority of my audience and 65 + year olds. But because this is impossible for now at least the next best way to carcinogen max is to become horribly morbidly obese. The cancer rate skyrockets as excess weight piles on so you are going to want to increase your caloric intake by drinking seed oils. This is especially true if you are also burnt food maxxing as the burnt food will have less calories than normal as some of the energy is used in combustion. Even using all these methods in combination, you will still only increase your chances by a couple % points especially in the first few months/years so if you think about the chance of getting cancer as a 1 million sided dice that you throw every day and say smoking a cigarette adds an extra side that gives you cancer you still are looking at a long time before your carcinogen maxxing sees you any results. This is one of the main issues for carcinogen maxxers is that you can’t just inject yourself with cancer cells either as your immune system will just destroy the pathogens quite quickly. So what do you do if you want to carcinogen max as efficiently as possible? There is only one known solution to this dilemma and it's not easy to acquire. Weapons-grade plutonium. Does it have to be weapons-grade probably not, does it have to be plutonium also probably not but it just rolled off the tongue nicely. But yes radioactive material is the fast-track method that anyone can do it's just a matter of finding a sufficient energy source which although difficult is not impossible given the fact that one guy in Florida managed to find an unexploded nuclear weapon and used it as an energy source till the feds came in and ruined the fun. So now you have the radioactive material you can administer it in a number of ways such as intravenously or via demon core exposure