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Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we’re raising kids, dodging weird adults, and trying not to get kicked off airplanes for enforcing basic human etiquette. In this episode, Erik and Kira cover the real dangers of adulthood: being invited to a “boat party” that turns into a soft-launch threesome, promoters who demand you call them **Captain**, comics with fake one-word stage names, and airline passengers who think the window seat is a community resource. We get into: Why your wedding ring is a “speed bump,” not a stop Stage names, DJ names, and why we refuse to call you “Sandman” The worst bombing stories of Erik’s career Snoring on planes and why it should be illegal HOLD MY BABY: getting scolded at a comedy show like it’s church If you’ve ever wanted to say “absolutely not” out loud to a stranger… congratulations. This is your episode. --- *00:00 – Intro & welcome back* 00:05 – Grinder talk & getting propositioned on the road 00:01:59 – “Captain” promoters and refusing fake titles 00:02:19 – HOLD MY BABY: stop calling people their fake names 00:04:26 – The “boat party” invite that got weird fast 00:08:13 – Murder Cracker Barrel hotel + off-season gigs 00:10:30 – Erik’s worst bombings & comedy trauma training 00:12:18 – Handsy bookers & comedy industry nightmares 00:16:38 – “These jokes stay in the car” parenting rule 00:18:22 – Dentist finds out you’re a comic (instant regret) 00:21:36 – “Medical school in Guam” and questionable confidence 00:23:01 – HOLD MY BABY: airlines charging for seat assignments 00:29:40 – HOLD MY BABY: audience member scolds comic “be nice” 00:31:32 – Wrap-up + “be nice” becomes the theme --- #HoldMyBaby #parentingpodcasts #comedypodcast #standupcomedy #AirplaneEtiquette #travelstories #funnyparents #millennialparents --- If this episode made you laugh, gasp, or immediately get mad at a stranger in your head: 👍 Like the video 💬 Comment your worst airplane etiquette story (we WILL judge it lovingly) 🔔 Subscribe so you never miss an episode of parenting chaos 📤 Share this with someone who tries to trade a middle seat for a window It costs you nothing… except your dignity if you’re the “be nice” lady. ---