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A Harrowing Journey To the Mythical Land of Fluid Art Beasties #harrowing #journey #mythical #land #fluidart #beasties Fam, I'm about to get super real with you. This painting made me so nervous. It didn't make me nervous until after I had finished it, put it on my drying table, and gone upstairs for several hours. Then I started second-guessing myself. I kept looking at the picture of it, and every time I looked at the picture, I was more unsure. The more unsure I became, the more I started freaking out. I mean SERIOUSLY freaking out. I can't tell you another time that I was so unsure about releasing a painting out into the wild. I messaged a friend and vented all over the place. See, here was the thing: I thought it was super-cool at first...weird, yes...very odd even...but we all know I LIKE things that are weird and odd. Then I did the thing that I try so very hard not to do: I started thinking, "Oh no, what if my subscribers hate it? What if it's toooooo weird? What if my views are shit? What if people think I'm an awful artist?" Oh, y'all, the angst was real. THIS is the problem with having a channel. Well, this is MY problem with having a YouTube channel. I am painting for an audience, many of whom love me, and are fantastic and loyal supporters...but many of whom never say anything. I haven't sold a painting in two years. I've started to have doubt creep in...slowly...insidiously...infuriatingly. Then. Then I thought of the saying, "Even the sun shines on a dog's ass." I sat for a long time and thought about it...broke it down for myself, and here's what I've come to think: This is one of life’s deepest truths: good luck is temporary, impartial, and often random. Embrace it when it favors you, accept it when it favors others, and remember – your day in the sun is coming, even if right now you feel like you’re stuck in the shade. Keep going. I don't think that it's a surprise to anyone that I've been struggling...but I'm still here...I'm not planning an exit, and this painting really made me examine what I'm doing, and why. The why is still a little nebulous, but as long as I can enjoy, escape into, and exercise my creativity in my own way, in my own space, and in my own time, I'll be here. Maybe this Mythical Beastie was no accident...maybe it was to make me think and make me dig around in my mess. Sorry for the book, but I really need for y'all to know that having a channel isn't all sunshine and roses...every single creator, be they big or small, has their moments. Enough of that. Thanks for reading (all ten of you...ha). COLORS: Artist's Loft Soft Body White + Vallejo Pearl Medium + Chromacryl White + DecoArt Satin Enamel + Golden Iridescent Gold Deep Fine (I may have gone overboard here.) Golden Prussian Blue Golden Quinacridone Magenta NicPro Metallic Gold TLP Brulee Mixed with US Floetrol only. Social Media Links: Facebook / kelstowell Instagram / feraltrails25 MUSIC: Epidemic Sound It Girl -- Roof If Love Feels Like a Fever -- Particle House Feat. Ian Luxton Amy -- Particle House