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Did cats domesticate us, not the other way around? This is the story of a 10,000-year hostile takeover. It started in the Levant, where wildcats walked into human grain stores and offered a deal: "I'll handle your mice problem; you provide the room and board." The first unspoken pact was signed with a bowl of milk. Then came the promotion. In Egypt, cats went from pest control to living gods, worshipped as incarnations of Bastet. They hitched rides on Phoenician ships, trading rodent control for passage across the globe. They survived medieval superstitions and emerged as Victorian fashion icons. Today? The plan is complete. They've conquered our sofas, our beds, and our internet. They've trained us to wake at 5 a.m. for breakfast and spend billions on salmon treats. So who really tamed whom? From wild predator to couch dictator, this is the story of history's ultimate landlords.