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The Citadel

Song Title: The Citadel Written By: Mathew Aurelia Generated With: Suno v5 Sound Prompt: 80 BPM, Uplifting bittersweet indie folk-pop with emotional delivery, organic percussion, heavy stomps and claps, male and female vocal trade-offs, lush gang vocals, acoustic guitar, ukulele, glockenspiel, anthemic, builds from intimate to massive, soulful, rhythmic, communal atmosphere, Emotional, Bittersweet, Warm Inspiration: I was originally going for a "Walk Off the Earth" vibe with the sound prompt, but obviously that didn't quite work out. The writing behind the song was partially based on a poem I wrote (the middle part about day-dreaming of driving off the road), and the rest was based around current struggles that my family and I were going through. My two year old was stuck in hospital for about a month and it was hard on us all. The Citadel is a visualization I tend to use to remember who I want to be for my family and for myself. I love contrasting vibes between semi-dark lyrics and uplifting beats. Lyrics: Drivin’ with nothing… No gas in the tank. Drivin’ me mad… Just a mind firin’ blanks. Another day, another dollar, tension in the air. A thousand paper cuts, for the two of us to share. Bills on the counter, silence fills our place, Tradin’ need for distance, declinin’ an embrace. I say I’ll grab the milk, be gone a little while, Didn’t need to leave, but it felt worthwhile. I take the wheel, one steady breath, Dancin’ on the line between my life and death. Radio cranked, beatin’ down my ears, With a song I hate, so I don’t feel my fears. Turnin’ it up loud, so I don’t hear my head, Runnin’ outta time, as this feelin’ spreads… I will not fold, nor fade away, It shows with every brick I lay. A crushing weight here in the fray, But I won’t run, nor turn away. Life pulls me with its rhythmic tide, But I’ll live to see the other side. I am building my citadel… (brick by brick) Walking through hell… (flames are thick) I choke the wheel with white knuckles, I’m highway flyin’ in a box of blood and steel. I’m findin’ no safety in these seat-belt buckles, As my foot grows heavy and these tires squeal. I see a valley down and to the right of here… This would be a great damn spot to steer. (Numb), oh I’m numb, No one would be surprised. (Numb), oh so numb, I’m feelin’ hypnotized… My devil’s sayin’ “do it!”, while my angel’s sayin’ (“wait!”) But I know I’ll fuck this up if I hesitate. I grit my teeth and twist the wheel, To end up in a pile of steel… Except none of it was real. (No, none of it was real…) No… I will not fold, nor fade away, It shows with every brick I lay. A crushing weight here in the fray, But I won’t run, nor turn away. Life pulls me with its rhythmic tide, But I’ll live to see the other side. I am building my citadel… (brick by brick) Walking through hell… (flames are thick) Pullin’ in the driveway, headlights cut to black... Groceries in the seat beside, milk ridin' in the back. Snapped out of it, somewhere along the way. (Along the way) I may not be okay today, (Not okay) But I'll fight for one more day... I will not fold, nor fade away, It shows with every brick I lay. A crushing weight here in the fray, But I won’t run, nor turn away. Life pulls me with its rhythmic tide, But I’ll live to see the other side. I am building my citadel… (brick by brick) Walking through hell… (flames are thick) Then the weight starts shiftin’, deep inside my chest, A knot I carry loosens, givin’ me some rest. There’s a strength in my community, (It carries me) A presence watching over me, (It helps me That I won't heal when I grit my teeth, I heal when I give away more than I can keep. I trade my isolation, for a hand I can hold, Let my faith rebuild, and warm up from the cold. (Not today…) I choose to stay… (Not today…) Building my citadel…