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When we connect to our partners we may not be aware of our bonding pattern. There are common patterns in all relationships, the most common of these is the parent / child pattern. This is unconscious and, in its nurturing aspect works to the benefit of the relationship. But when we get stressed or anxious, the dynamic can change and the critical parent self emerges resulting in for instance critical Mother and guilty son, or rebellious Son and angry Mother. When a bonding pattern switches to its negative aspect, partners can be thrown into confusion. An otherwise great relationship is taken over as if by a spell. The way out of this is to name the dynamic by stepping into the adult self. If one of us can do this with humour so much the better. This can then release us from the spell of the dynamic and shift us back into the here and now. Matt Davies is a couple and relationship therapist and psychotherapist: https://www.mattdavies.org Sarah Davies is a mindful movement and embodiment facilitator: http://www.waveofenergy.co.uk Together we are creating Love Lab https://www.lovelab.uk/ We have an in-person course and are developing our online course. We’d love to work with you. Please subscribe to our channel and send us an email to keep in touch: info@lovelab.uk