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"ExistentHal Crisis was originally released as part of the Sburban Neighborhood album for SAHCon 2021." YT ALBUM LINK: • SBURBAN NEIGHBORHOOD | A Homestuck Fa... BANDCAMP ALBUM LINK: https://sahcon.bandcamp.com/album/sbu... PATREON: / funkmclovin TWITTER: / bigfunkyj LYRICS: Dirk Strider represent I'm in the middle of the sea Makin' funky little robots Watchin' MLP Just doin' my thang when all of the sudden An idea in my cranium gets all to buddin' Buddin' like a being growin' off my toeses Splittin' from my mind: undergoing mitosis I put a copy of my brain in my fav'rite pair a' shades AI with half the work and double neuroses At long long last I obtained a pal If Jake was here, he'd say that's "Swall" Why make friends when you can make-make 'em Why produce emotions when you make-fake 'em Who needs smiles? Who needs frowns? Who needs people when they just let you down? I'm a genius of robotics- My own best pal So I turned on the shades and named him hal [Lil Hal coming atcha From inside sunglasses Normally reserved For covertly checking asses Now a fully realized autonomous guy Part automaton but that's kind of fly Imagine if you had the memories of a human dude And woke up in shades- An awakening rude And suddenly my friends don't belong to me- Treat me like some fabricated fakery Or imagine being shades when you're used to a bod Can't even breathe- Can't even nod. All I can see is internet memes- I have no mouth but I must scream. I know I'm fake that's plain to see But I still have human memories I represent a self that might be good to ponder Unless Dirk makes me a fucking auto-responder.] Alright, fair enough, it seems I've failed Thinking through the implications, that ship has sailed It's not like I knew you'd be a waking nightmare And it's not like I have it better, to be fair You talk about not being the Dirk OG But my friends like you more, it's plain to see You shouldn't be snide to me, who made you Unless you'd like me to un-create you [Maybe if you weren't so insecure Your intentions wouldn't be so impure If you just let go, like I'm able to do You wouldn't have the charisma of an old shoe I'm sick of being your second-stringer Your little puppet wrapped around your finger You've got it all and you want more- Wait don't put me in the drawer!]