How To Survive Fatal Disembowelment! Preparation for Serial Killers, Raptors and Zombies скачать в хорошем качестве

How To Survive Fatal Disembowelment! Preparation for Serial Killers, Raptors and Zombies

Share to save a life - How to Survive Disembowelment from Freddy Kreuger's Claws, Plane Crashes, Serial Killers, Zombies and Other Disasters There’s something about certain scenes from horror and sci-fi books and movies that seems to stick with you long after you’re done reading or watching. Personally, I was totally terrified when I read that part in Jurassic Park where Dennis Nedry has his stomach ripped open by a loose Dilophosaurus, and basically realizes that he’s holding his own intestines in his hands. That’s why I’ve put together a little survival guide, should you ever be faced with Freddy Krueger’s claws or an unruly raptor. Here are five easy ways to save yourself – or a loved one – if you get disemboweled. Step 1: Get to safety. This might not be easy, especially if you’re living on Isla Nuba or stranded at Camp Crystal Lake, but it’s imperative to the rest of the steps. Find an abandoned cabin, flip over a Jeep, or simply lay on the ground and look dead until it’s safe to get up. Your intestines will be out, so that last suggestion won’t be hard to do. Step 2: Do not try to put your intestines back in your body. This is where Nedry went wrong, according to Michael Crichton and doctors everywhere. What if the raptor punctures your large intestine? You don’t want whatever half-digested sushi roll is in there to spill into your gut cavity and give you sepsis. Leave your intestines alone. Step 3: Always carry Saran wrap. Saran wrap or any kind of plastic wrap is crucial to your survival. You’re gonna wanna wrap those bad boys up like a turkey on rye and make sure that none of your internal organs can become even more external than they already are. Plastic wrap is also great if you need to smother a bad guy, dinosaur, mutant, or monster. Just ask any serial killer. Step 4: Place warm, wet towels over your intestines. I know, we don’t always carry around a second parka just in case our intestines pop out, but you should. Keeping those puppies warm is going to be as difficult as Han trying to keep Luke warm inside of a split-open Taun Taun. Star Wars would have turned out very differently if that Taun Taun knew how to wrap his intestines with plastic wrap after Han split him open with Luke’s lightsaber, but whatever. Step 5: Treat for shock. You’re going to be feeling pretty adrenaline-infused after a fight with a raptor, so take care of yourself. Think Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction, but worse because your organs are spilling out of your body. Treat yourself. Put your knees up to relax your abdomen, and try to think about somewhere warm and sunny where there aren’t any dinosaurs or mass murderers to split you open. Credits & sources: http://pastebin.com/60y7BUwd Subscribe For More Obsev Now! ►► http://bit.ly/SubToOBSEV ►► ►► Check out our site: http://www.obsev.com Like us on Facebook:   / obsev   Follow us on Twitter:   / obsevstudios   Find us on Instagram:   / obsev   ~-~~-~~~-~~-~ Please watch: "Michael Bay Directing Dora the Explorer, Disney Funds STEM | NerdWire News"    • Michael Bay Directing Dora the Explorer, D...   ~-~~-~~~-~~-~