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The Secret To Improving Your Charisma Dozens of PROVEN, easy-to-LEARN tips you can use right now... https://howcommunicationworks.com This video teaches you how to be seen as poised, diplomatic, and socially graceful. The key is to maintain the 'expressive order" of the interaction, that web of meanings that is created and sustained in every social encounter. This is a key concept in Erving Goffman's sociology. In the video, I use the analogy of the game of hacky sack, where the object is always to keep the bean bag in the air. In a social encounter, your job is to keep the expressive order in tact. In any interaction, there is a set of claims being made about the interaction. These include claims about each person's personal and social identity, claims about the relationship between the interactants, claims about the point of the interaction, etc. To be seen as safe to interact with, you must show your commitment to keeping these meanings in tact. This includes making efforts to repair the fabric of the interaction when things go wrong, as they inevitably do. What's important is not that the interaction goes perfectly. It never does. People are imperfect. The hacky sack always hits the ground eventually. The point is to show your commitment to keeping the hacky sack in the air, to keeping the expressive order in tact. You do this by making every reasonable effort to maintain the expressive order, by showing disappointment when things fall apart, and by doing your part to put things back together.