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A message from the MCG two days before the Grand Final which will not take place here. #SammyJ Subscribe now: http://ab.co/subscribe ___________________________________________ Biting, bite-sized comedy as Sammy J and his team of troublemakers tackle the news of the week. Stream now on iview: http://ab.co/SammyJ ___________________________________________ Hello, fellow citizens of the People’s Republic of Hookturnistan, and also to our neighbouring country, Scott Morrison’s Australia. I am broadcasting from the lush green grass of the gloriously empty MCG two days before a Grand Final which will not take place here and WE ARE TOTALLY FINE WITH THAT. Hookie hookie hookie! Latte Latte Latte. Here in Hookturnistan we are overcome with happiness since President Andrews, in his eternal benevolence, has allowed us to have haircuts again, and if we sit still for the whole time, we will get a lollipop - because we are big boys and big girls! Did you hear we are now allowed to travel 25 kilometres from home and we can go to the horse race? No, no. Sorry change of plan we can't go to the horse race.