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Honey

Parody of Taylor Swift’s “Honey” ~Lyrics~ You can call me “honey” if you want Just like all the grandmas at the store Early bird deal, 5 p.m. You can call me “honey” just again and again Floral print blouse, perm high They give it a different meaning 'Cause they mean it when they talk “Honey, that boy looks like a snack, But he’s trouble don’t call him back” Who’s the finest in the land? “Oh it’s you!” Then she pats my hand, advice in a can honey Then she grabbed my face Squished a cheek and whispered, “Bless you, honey…” When anyone called me “sweetheart,” It was someone’s meemaw at the mart And she told me, “Scoot dear, let me check out” With a coupon binder in her cart If anyone called me “honey,” It was leaning on a rascal, aisle three She was asking why my shorts were ripped, see? And I laughed the whole way home You can call me “honey” if you want Every bingo hall’s neon font They give it different meaning 'Cause they mean it when they talk “Sweetie, sit down legs are too young” “Eat a cookie first here’s another one” Buy yarn in the color of your vibe Then crochet my whole damn life, honey Then she grabbed my face Squished a cheek and whispered, “Bless you” When anyone called me “sweetheart,” It was someone’s meemaw at the mart And she told me, “Scoot dear, let me check out” With a coupon binder in her cart If anyone called me “honey,” It was leaning on a rascal, aisle three She was asking why my shorts were ripped, see? And I laughed the whole way home When anyone called me late night It was grandma playin’ games on FaceTime Saying, “What are you wearin’?” wrong call She meant to text her bowling squad And when anyone called me “lovely” It was Beatrice in aisle twenty And she said it like she’d adopt me Then she baked me rolls by morning, honey When anyone called me “sweetheart,” It was someone’s meemaw at the mart And she told me, “Scoot dear, let me check out” With a coupon binder in her cart If anyone called me “honey,” It was leaning on a rascal, aisle three She was asking why my shorts were ripped, see? And I laughed the whole way home But you can call me “honey” if you want Just be over seventy-five, please