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How to Apologize to Your Cat

We’ve all been there. You accidentally hurt your cat. Perhaps you unintentionally step on their tail, stumble over them, or shout at them. Now of course you feel bad about your actions, and want things to go back to normal. Apologizing to your cat is the best way to keep your relationship strong after you’ve committed a feline offence. But how do you tell your cat you’re sorry? And even if you do, will a cat understand when you apologize? Before rushing over to apologize, it is important to observe the cat's body language. It’s possible that your cat needs some space before they’re ready to connect with you again. If you just stepped on their tail and sent them running for cover, chasing after them will only cause more stress and fear. When you want to make amends, it is best to wait for the cat to approach you. Remember, a lowered tail, an arched back, or flattened ears are tell-tale signs that your cat is threatened and needs some space before you try to make amends. On the contrary, relaxed ears, an upright tail, or a relaxed body posture are all positive body language signs that indicate your pet is ready to engage with you. When your cat is finally relaxed, you can apologize by speaking to them in a calm tone of voice while blinking slowly at them. Cats recognize your voice and respond to your vocal and facial cues. Cats love treats, so offering them some of their favorite treats while talking to them in a soft voice helps create positive associations. It is a great way to show them that you're truly sorry. How long do cats stay angry? Due to the way short-term memory functions in felines, cats typically forget one-off bad events within 16 hours. So if you accidentally step on a cat’s tail and apologize, the cat won’t hold a grudge against you. However, cats remember abuse and repeated mistreatment for the rest of their lives. How to know if your cat has forgiven you If you're concerned that your cat may be holding a grudge against you for something, it's important to observe their behavior. If your cat keeps hiding from you or tries to avoid you after a negative experience, it may be an indication that they are still processing what happened and don’t feel safe around you yet. Likewise, if your pet tucks its tail, holds it down, or flatten its ears when you are nearby, it could be a sign that they still lack trust in you. On the contrary, if your cat shows relaxed body language and shows no signs of fear or anxiety when you're in their presence, it's a good sign that they have forgiven you. Even better, if your cat approaches you, kneads you, rub against you, or even purrs and sleeps next to you, it's a clear sign that they have moved past the incident and feel comfortable in your presence once again. Avoid Kissing or Hugging Your Cat as an Apology If your hurt your cat and want to apologize to them to regain their trust, don’t be tempted to hug or kiss them immediately. From a cat’s perspective, going for a big hug or brining our face close to them could be perceived as a threat rather than a soothing action. Common actions that could damage your cat's trust There are several ways you might inadvertently damage the trust between you and your cat. If you regularly force your cat to do things they don't want to do, it can create distance between you and your pet. Common examples are subjecting them to stressful nail trimming experiences, or forcing them to be around visitors when they don’t want to. Additionally, frightening them with sudden loud noises or startling objects can cause them to associate your presentence with fear and anxiety. Keep in mind that many cats dislike being picked up. Constantly picking them up and cradling them like a baby when they don't want to, can lead to negative associations and a lack of trust. Constantly yelling or even hitting your cat can also definitely damage their trust. Remember, anger does not teach your cat to “behave,” it simply teaches them to be afraid of you. How to apologize to a cat after a stressful veterinary or grooming visit Certain events can be stressful for cats, so it is important to provide reassurance and comfort to help them cope with the stress. If you notice that your cat is upset due to changes in routine, such as having visitors for the holidays or undergoing renovations, consider using calming aids around the house, such as feline stress pheromone sprays. Feline pheromones are scent signals that cats naturally produce to communicate and mark their territory. These pheromone sprays mimic those signals and can help create a sense of familiarity and security for your cat. If your cat is distressed about visits to the groomer, boarding facility, or veterinarian, consult with your vet about possible calming aids. They can recommend over-the-counter options or prescribe medication to alleviate your cat's anxiety.