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Afraid to Love Again

I gave my heart without a fight Believed her words, believed the lies Every day felt like a war Behind her eyes, behind closed doors I carried anger that wasn’t mine Lost myself, lost track of time I stayed so long just to survive Calling pain a way of life I learned to smile through all the scars Hide the truth inside my heart When I finally walked away I was free… but still afraid I’m afraid to love again Afraid to walk through hell once more My heart is covered in old scars It beats, but it don’t trust love anymore I’m afraid to love again To promise, then to break I survived a broken love Now I’m scared to take that step Years went by, they left their mark Sleepless nights, a shattered heart I disappeared just to keep us alive Thinking love meant sacrifice Now I walk this road alone But at least this heart is my own When someone talks about forever My past pulls me back like weather I wanna believe, but my hands shake Every step feels like a risk I take Between hope and fear inside Between wanting love and running to hide I’m afraid to love again Afraid to walk through hell once more My heart is covered in old scars It beats, but it don’t trust love anymore I’m afraid to love again To promise, then to break I survived a broken love Now I’m scared to take that step If you knock on my door someday Be gentle with this heart of mine Love me without tearing me down Love me without making me run I’m afraid to love again But I’m learning how to breathe If love finds me one more time I hope it knows how to heal me I’m afraid to love again But I didn’t lock the door I’m healing slow, but I’m still here A broken heart… still wanting more I don’t run from yesterday I walk forward, scars and all If I love again someday It won’t be fear that makes me fall