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Y'all ready for a laugh? Granny June's backwoods moonshine just took home a Michelin Star, leavin' them fancy Paris chefs fallin' off their chairs and two-steppin' in tuxes! From copper stills in the holler to mason jars at award dinners, this one's got sass, shine, and more redneck chaos than a family reunion on a Saturday night. Granny's cookin' up "Eau de Backwoods Bliss" with corn, peaches, and a whole lotta attitude – and now the city folks are finally catchin' on that real class comes in a jar! Hey friends, if life's got you feelin' down, pour yourself a (sweet tea) listen and let Granny's wild story lift your spirits. Her shine might be strong, but her story's stronger – here's to good laughs, good times, and rememberin' to keep smilin' no matter what. Y'all mean the world to me – thanks for ridin' along on these hay bale adventures! Drop a like if Granny made you grin, and subscribe for more toe-tappin' fun. Lyrics below if you wanna sing along! [Spoken intro, slow twang over guitar pickin'] Well, y'all, gather 'round the still, 'Cause Granny just made the news... And it ain't for shootin' at revenuers this time! [Verse 1] Ol' Granny June, she's eighty-two, Got a still out back in the holler brew, Copper coil snakin' through the pine, Cookin' up firewater smoother than moonlit shine. She uses corn from the back forty row, Peaches from the tree that the possum won't go, Secret ingredient? A pinch of her sass, And a prayer that the law don't kick her ass. [Chorus] Granny's moonshine just won a Michelin Star! Them fancy chefs in Paris drivin' fancy cars, Sippin' her 'shine from a mason jar glass, Sayin' "Mon dieu, this here's got some class!" They call it "Eau de Backwoods Bliss," Pair it with foie gras and a big ol' kiss. Granny just grinned and said, "Well I'll be, Y'all city folks finally learned how to drink free!" [Verse 2] Now the rednecks heard and they piled in trucks, F-150s, Chevys, and one old Ford that sucks, Rollin' up to the awards in their Sunday best, Which means camo overalls and a Bud Light vest. Cousin Cletus showed up three sheets to the wind, Tripped on the red carpet, yelled "Where's the spin?!" Uncle Bubba tried the amuse-bouche bite, Spit it out sayin' "Tastes like rich folk spite!" [Chorus] Granny's moonshine just won a Michelin Star! Waiters in tuxes can't handle the jar, They're fallin' down drunk on the parquet floor, Dancin' the two-step, beggin' for more. They lost their monocles, their ties undone, One chef's yellin' "This beats escargot, son!" Granny tipped her hat and said with a wink, "Next year's batch gonna make y'all rethink!" [Bridge] [Slower, build with fiddle] Now the critics are callin', "It's gourmet delight!" But Granny's still runnin' from lawmen at night. She told 'em straight, "Boys, don't get too proud, This here's white lightnin', not some wine cloud." They offered her millions, a restaurant chain, She said, "Nah, I'd rather sip porch swing rain. Y'all can keep your stars, I'll keep my still, 'Cause drunk rednecks know the real thrill!" [Verse 3 / Final Chorus build] Last week at the honky-tonk, things got real wild, Granny brought samples, had the whole place beguiled. Billy Ray puked in the jukebox slot, Said "This shine's so good, it hits the spot!" Darla Mae danced on the bar top high, Lost her boots, but kept reachin' for the sky. Sheriff showed up, took one sip, then two, Woke up next mornin' with a Michelin tattoo! [Big Chorus out – repeat and ad-lib] Granny's moonshine just won a Michelin Star! Fancy pants faintin' in their caviar! Rednecks gettin' lit, fallin' off the porch, Pukin' in the bushes, lightin' up the torch! Yee-haw! Pass the jar, don't be shy, Granny's shine'll make you feel like you can fly... Or at least crawl real good till the rooster crows, Michelin Star moonshine – that's how the redneck grows! [Fade out with laughs, banjo roll, and Granny yelling: "Who wants another round? I got plenty!"]