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Here are the lyrics! Stewie: Now everybody gather 'round and listen if you would When I tell you every person needs a way of feeling good Every kitty needs a ball of string and every dog a stick Stewie & Brian: But all you need is a bag of weed to really get a kick All: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight A Bag of Weed, A Bag of Weed Oh, Everything is better with A Bag of Weed It's the only hope that you'll ever need Cuz' Everything is better with A Bag of Weed Stewie: There you go, you're all getting it now Ensemble: When Texas people want to feel good, Stewie: They go assault a queer. Ensemble: When stupid people need a thrill, Stewie: They rent The Rocketeer. Ensemble: When Michael Jackson needs a rush, Stewie: He humps a guy like me. Ensemble: Right! All: But all we need is a bag of weed, To keep us worry free. One, Two, Three, HO! A Bag of Weed, A Bag of Weed Oh, everything is better with A Bag of Weed Oh, you don't need meth and you don't need speed Cuz' Everything is better with A Bag of Weed Stewie: Have a go, Brian! Brian: As Mr. H.L. Mencken said, "The common man's a fool." Stewie: And just like Helen Keller said, "Doof stoo gee nay foo tool." Brian: But try and use your heads and don't buy into all the fear. All: HEY! 'Cuz all we need is a bag of weed To make us wanna cheer! And One, Two! A Bag of Weed, A Bag of Weed Oh, everything is better with A Bag of Weed You can try and fight but we're all agreed Because everything is better with A Bag of Weed (break) One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, And One, Two, Three, Four, And A Five, And A Six, And A Seven! HO!! A Bag of Weed, A Bag of Weed Oh, everything is better with A Bag of Weed You're a happy guy when you plant the seed Because everything is better with A Bag... Of... Weed! Oh ev'rything is better with a bag of weed!!