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Is PHP actually slow, or are we just measuring it wrong? We caught up with Volker, PHP 8.5 Release Manager and performance expert at Tideways, to preview his session, "PHP Performance Demystified," for the PHP UK Conference 2026. In this interview, we dive into the "intuition" of performance. Volker explains why understanding the PHP virtual machine and OPCodes is the key to writing better code, and why reaching for a new language is often a "rewrite trap." We discuss how to move beyond simple wrappers to use low-level C-based tooling and profilers to find bottlenecks in production without changing your code. We also get a rare behind-the-scenes look at the life of a PHP Release Manager, the community-driven nature of PHP (without corporate "overlords"), and why the road to PHP 9 is focused on making upgrades as painless as possible for the millions of sites running the web. ________________________________________________________________________________________ 00:00 Intro & Talk Overview: Measuring vs. Understanding 01:31 Moving to Low-Level Tooling and C-Level Approaches 02:12 Benchmarking: How PHP holds up against Python, Ruby, and JS 05:16 The "Rewrite Trap": Why changing languages isn't a silver bullet 06:29 Real-world Performance Wins and Debugging Horror Stories 10:23 Profiling Tools: Open Source vs. Commercial Insights 12:54 Data Privacy and Sanitisation in Performance Monitoring 16:03 Inside the PHP 8.5 Release Manager Role 18:55 How to Contribute: The RFC Process and the PHP Foundation 22:07 Future Outlook: Deciding between PHP 8.6 and PHP 9.0 24:51 Why PHP’s Independent Ecosystem is its Greatest Strength 27:06 Preparing for PHP 9: Ensuring a Painless Upgrade Path 28:57 How Frameworks (Symphony/Laravel) provide Core Feedback 34:36 Language Evolution: Removing Legacy Features and "Crazy" Syntax __________________________________________________________________________________________ 🎟️ See Volker live at PHP UK 2026! 📅 February 20th | London, 1 America Square 👉 Tickets Available Now: https://www.phpconference.co.uk/tickets