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Ally, a returned-missionary and member of BYU’s elite choir, BYU Singers, describes her struggles with perfectionism, mental health, discovering her asexuality after marriage, losing her faith as a student at BYU, and rediscovering her relationship with music. Pt 1: • Struggling with Mormon Perfectionism - All... ————— WE ARE 100% DONOR FUNDED! Thank you for your donations! Monthly Donor: https://donorbox.org/mormon-stories One Time Donation: https://donorbox.org/mormon-stories Amazon Purchases: ONLINE: Follow the link below and choose "Mormon Stories". Amazon will do the rest at no cost to you. https://smile.amazon.com APP: Enable Amazon Smile in your app by following link below: https://smile.amazon.com/b?ie=UTF8&no... Subscribe/Like/Share and comment on our podcasts ————— Social Media/Information Links: MSP on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4sDzk7d... Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... MSP Blog: https://www.mormonstories.org/episodes Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mormstories... Patreon: / mormonstories TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mormonstories... Discord: / discord Contact Us! MormonStories@gmail.com Mormon Stories Podcast PO Box 171085 Salt Lake City, UT 84117 #LDS #Mormon #PostMormon #ExMormon #MormonStories #Religion #Education #Truth #History #JosephSmith #ChurchofJesusChristofLatterDaySaints #HighDemandReligion #Cult #Patriarchy #WomensRights LDS Church Proclamation on the Family https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/b... Contrapoints YouTube channel / contrapoints Gretchen Day MS Interview https://mormonstories.org/podcast/the... RFM Investigation of MTC Sex Scandal https://radiofreemormon.org/tag/mtc-s... “Oh Ye Fair Ones” - Christian Asplund / oh-ye-fair-ones BYU Survival Guide: https://byusurvivalguide.com/ MS Episode - Bradly and Ilana, BYU Survival Guide. How to survive BYU as a non-traditional or non-believing student: https://mormonstories.org/podcast/how... Utah Valley University https://www.uvu.edu/ Allychristiansen.com AllyChristiansen.com Instagram: / ally.christiansen.sings BeautyInTheNow.org (Margi’s coaching practice) Ally Finlinson Christiansen FB account / allison.finlinson ===================== Time Codes: 00:00 Introduction 04:00 Making it into BYU Singers 10:00 Practicing self-compassion at BYU Counseling (CAPS) 16:00 Developing doubts about Mormon perfectionism, Joseph Smith, and LGBQ students at BYU 26:00 Practicing a reduction in perfectionism, sustainable and compassionate Mormonism 31:30 - Singing in a choir during the COVID Pandemic, Black Lives Matter, George Floyd, political differences 36:00 - Noticing patterns of ignoring women in the Mormon church 37:00 - Sibling comes out to Ally as non-binary, beginning to question the church’s gender policies 45:00 - Church’s direction on gender policies cause more doubts 47:00 - Taking a philosophy class, the Problem of Evil, agency, Ensign Peak, exclusion policy 52:00 - Not attending church during COVID 54:00 - Seeking Clinical Psychology Treatment, DBT - “What to do when you have feelings” 57:00 - Better understanding the difference between emotions and spirituality 1:03:00 - Experiencing doubt and fear as a BYU student 1:13:00 - Feeling spiritually “empty” as a vocal performer at BYU 1:21:00 Stopping reading scriptures and praying 1:25:00 - Started reading ExMormon Reddit, listening to Mormon Stories Podcast. 1:35:00 - Finishing up at BYU after loss of faith 1:41:00 “speaking up” at BYU towards the end, feminist expressions. Sexism and lack of representation at BYU. Graduating 1:49:00 - Responding to criticisms of integrity and the Honor Code after losing faith 1:53:00 - BYU’s Honor code and the lack of Informed Consent 1:57:00 - Compulsory church attendance at BYU 1:59:00 - Tithing settlement at BYU as a non-believer, intrusive bishop, lying, satan’s plan, compulsion, forcing 2:06:00 - Suggestions for the LDS Church and BYU 2:19:00 - Healing and growth after BYU 2:23:00 - Religious/Mormon trauma/music PTSD